When I last left this blog I was panicky and had lost track of myself in a week gone mad. I'd like to say it's gotten better, but - alas - it has not. I'm learning to let go of the things I can't control and be content with my best at the moment without feeling like a failure, but the perfectionist in me is freaking out.
As is the sparker in me.
I still have "The Spark" - trust me - but my life's focus has shifted exponentially in the past few weeks. I began this journey during the school year and modified appropriately, but then came summer and I dove into a self-serving, wonderful world of healthy. I've come to love that and miss it terribly. I forgot about that whole craving of balance.
This brings me to the central purpose of my blog: BLC 23 begins tomorrow. I was hesitant to continue with the BLC because I feel like I can't uphold the same level of effort and work that I did the round prior. My time and mind are split in so many directions this time of year and sometimes I just want to scream. Or climb to the highest peak in Arizona, which was quite a release this summer. There also an adjustment to my journey. My stress levels rise, my schedule becomes packed, and I can't always do what I want to do - I imagine all you parents out there can empathize or can't stand my whining - but I am also in a new phase of my journey: the small loses and maintenance.
My initial goal when I set out in January was to lose 75 lbs, going from 225 pounds to 150 pounds, which ended with my final day in BLC22. Since that round ended another 4 pounds fell off. And I do mean fell. There was little change and it was in one week. Since then, my weeks have become the fall and winter whirl wind that they always are and I have maintained, which is still awesome. I'm good to maintain, but would like to find a natural, comfortable weight and so losing a touch more will allow me to see the reality of this.
I am not obsessed or crazy.
I aim to be strong and healthy, which I am almost at. I am finding fitness options that allow me to access these points better and I am moving nutrition around to be the most savvy. The portion I am not excelling at is the balance of it all.
And so that is the primary goal in BLC23: Balance.
Balance in eating.
Balance in exercising.
Balance in perspective.
Balance in sparking.
I've also set a goal of 140 pounds; this time it will be through patience and balance rather than "move, move, move". It is a whole new set of challenges that I hope to educate myself on in moving towards a long-term healthy life.
And now for the "before" photos, which are my first belly baring ones so be kind: