Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Yup, we all have days when the bad seems to outweigh the good and we begin thinking, life isnít fair. You get bogged down in traffic, and you end up being late for work or that important meeting. Then your car dies and you have to have it towed. So now you're asking yourself, ďWhy me?Ē Events like these test anyoneís ability to be grateful and optimism. If you are one of t hose people who have a tendency to feel sorry for yourself, guess what. Murphy's law? Things usually progress to the next stage: the pity party. You begin to feel like the innocent victim of a dismal fate because you are seeing your life through inaccurate lenses. Most of the thoughts that run through your mind at times like these are not helpful, and they mainly serve to increase your indignation and feelings of powerlessness. What these feelings and thoughts donít do is change your circumstances or make you feel better. Time to adjust those lenses.
When we have a terrible day, there should definitely be a time and place to vent our feelings that we can process them. Itís especially important not to deny or pretend that we're fine with things arenít. Itís also important, too, to realize when youíre having a pity party. So, itís a very good idea to set a time limit in which to fully express your emotions and not feel guilty, ashamed, or judge yourself. You may want to journal your feelings as well. Once your time is up, let go of the negativity you've just expressed. If youíve written down your feelings, burn the piece of paper or throw it in the recycling bin. DO NOT RETRIEVE IT!
We should never dwell on unpleasant experiences. Instead we should do everything we can to avoid holding on to negative emotions. When we indulge in self-pity, we only make a bad day worse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, release the notion that you are a victim, and notice the good that exists in your life
I have a theory. If it's someone, be it family, friend, co-worker or even a total stranger, that was the cause and effect, chances are they are totally oblivious of their actions and have moved on. I'll just bet that if you approached them about it they'd look at you shocked and surprised. So why should we hang onto the negativity they caused. It's only dragging you down. It's a solo flight. Vent it, get over it, move on.