Monday, September 23, 2013
I ate ice cream. I didn't even enjoy it the way that I thought I would.
I didn't beat myself up as badly as I usually would. That's something new.
I told my husband afterward that I was sick of feeling this way, and that the taste just couldn't compare to the desire to feel better!
I actually craved veggies, and fruit.
This has never happened before, usually I would hate myself so much that I would eat more, and then I would give up.
I know many of us have traveled that same path enough times to put a permanent rut in the road to health and wellness!
Even though my journey is slow, I would rather go at a turtle speed and finish the race then run at hare's speed and give up.
I just want to keep heading forward.
For those of us who have used food for comfort you know that one cave in can cause us to spiral out of control.
The ice cream came later the same day that one of my best friend's told me that her eldest, darling son tried to commit suicide.
I know this boy well, and love him dearly.
If they had not come home when they did, it would have been too late.
For those who's lives have been touched by suicide, or near suicide you know the emotional effects on the family and friends.
We are rallying around them with our love. We are praying, praying, praying.
I ate the ice cream because dealing with the painfulness of the situation seemed too difficult for that moment.
I was wrong.
I am learning.