Monday, September 23, 2013
Good and bad. I was honest and tracked everything but I didn't do so well out of the gate. I'm going to improve so I'm not upset about it or anything. I did let my emotions get to me a little bit over the weekend and I let it affect the choices I made. This is definitely an area I need to focus on.
It's silly really and if I were to verbalize what impacted me emotionally this weekend nine out of ten people would say "Why on earth did you let that upset you?" Well I don't know! :)
I had a really wonderful day on Saturday and enjoyed every minute of it. Sunday I expected a call that never came and I was derailed. I have to stop letting people have so much power over me and learn to let things go. I know that it's intentional and that they're motivation is to punish me and I wish I could be oblivious to it but I can't.
My heart is just not in this right now but I will go through the motions and "fake it 'til I make it". This is too important to shut it down yet again and ultimately it is not for them that I make these changes but for me and for my daughter. The rest of my family can take me or leave me, my daughter is happy that I am who I am.
I haven't journaled in a while and I think I need to so I can purge some of this crap and get on with things.
So ... week 1 results:
8.5 pounds down
Vitamins taken every day but one
Water drank minimum 64 oz every day - most days twice that
Sweets consumed - one bite of my friends brownie
Sodas drank - two (not so good)
Fast food trips - twice (both times not good choices)
Didn't blog daily
Didn't go shopping for the week yesterday
I'm happy with the weight loss but this is about more than that. This is about being healthy and eating cleanly and I'm not going to get anywhere on this journey if I don't pay attention to my triggers and work to push past them. I'm a planner and I can plan for certain things, if I know I'm going to enjoy a high fat meal for example, but I can't plan for my emotional triggers. Those are the times when I deliberately seek out high fat, greasy, fried, high carb foods that I don't even particularly like. But as I said above, I am being honest in my tracking and that feels right.