Yesterday, 2pm rolled around and I was just getting out of the car. My dad was dropping me off at choir practice. For a 1/2 hour we all sat around and talked, still catching up from before the summer break. Once we got started, the director reminded us that we were performing next Sunday...and I found out that the performance will be recorded and PUT ON YOUTUBE!!! Oh my gosh! Suddenly, my nerves shot way up.
Next thing, i know, even though we were only practicing, I found my legs shaking and I was on the verge of a panic attack. Even though I joined the choir on my birthday in February, I've only performed with them twice so far- at the end of May and more recently, August 4th. But neither of those performances were recorded.
Then last night, while on Facebook, one choir member started talking to me:
F(riend): Hi, are you doing well?
M(e): I'm doing okay I guess, best weekend or day I've had in a while lol
F: You look so sad at choir
M: Oh...I certainly don't mean to. Might just be cuz I'm dead tired
And then we went on to other things. Then again this morning I get another message from someone else...
F #2: Hey, are you okay these days? I don't know you well but it seems as though you are going through some stuff. Let me know if there's anything I or we can do for you :)
I'm not sure how to tell them that not only do I think my confidence took a big nosedive over the summer, -not that I had much to begin with- and that I find some of them like F #2 kinda intimidating...
There's nothing really wrong per se. My life just never stops, there's always something happening.