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Grrrr


Monday, September 23, 2013

So I hate to keep blogging about my FIL but it helps me to get it out and I so appreciate all your support and comments. Yesterday when we went to visit we walked in and he was in bed again on IV with 3 pain killers in it. One was Valium. Both my DH and I were upset by this. The nurse told us that he was just about in tears saying he was in pain. I love my FIL but he is always a bit of a teary guy and cries easily. I know he is in pain but it's muscle related and not related to the surgery but the lack of using the muscles. At least that is what we are being told. Anyway I told the nurse that we don't want him getting all this pain med and that we need to work with him to get him moving more to work through the muscle pain which will be less and less if he can keep moving. It was awful to see him in bed again and all doped up. So frustrating! So once again we had another hard talk with him. I told the nurse no more pain meds unless they talk to us first. I also talked to the doctor and she was trying to explain to me that the meds were for the muscle contractions and was necessary to calm them down and that he will only be on the IV pain meds for 6 hours. I said fine but told her as well that my FIL is a bit of a wimp an will need to be pushed to keep moving. I think she got it. I finally told my FIL that he needs to work through the pain or and move more or he is going to end up in a nursing home. He said he wouldn't like that. So we will see today how things are. Our plan is to only have a nurse during the day today and have him be on his own tonight and then have a nurse the next day for 8 hours only and then him on his own again at night. I sure hope we are doing the right thing.

Fun time watching the Seahawks with our neighbors who are all from the Northwest and cheer for them as well. During half time we grilled Johnsonville bratwurst and I had put together baked beans to go with it. But because I can't have nitrates my DH grilled me a steak and I had corn with it. All of our friends understand that I have to eat according to my doctor ordered guidelines and it seems normal now that I don't eat what they eat. My steak was lean and tasted good. Can't remember the last time I had one. And I had a whole cup of corn with butter. was expecting the scale to show a bit of a gain, but actually was down a pound to 104.5. So I will have plenty of room for vacation gain if it happens.

I hope you all are doing great and hope you have a wonderful week.
Again, many thanks for all your support and comments. They do mean so much to me.
Sallie
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PATTIEMCD 9/28/2013 1:44PM

    I pray that your FIL will push himself to reach a better quality of life. Pain Meds will never improve his condition, only mask it. Earlier this year my Dr. told me to keep up the physical therapy and only take my Meds when I really, really needed them. It also helped for me to differentiate between a stretch and actually feeling pain. Yes, there was "some" pain but feeling more of a stretch than pain. No one likes feeling pain but, living on/relying on strong pain Meds when it truly isn't necessary is never a substitute for physical therapy. I have 3 separate injuries but I am only expressing my opinion based on a surgery I had this past April.
I wish your FIL the best.....good luck



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NASFKAB 9/28/2013 12:08PM

  hope your f-i-l feels better soon

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JANIEWWJD 9/24/2013 11:57PM

    It must be hard having to take of elderly parents. My dad is 88 and my mom is 84 and they are super independent!!! My dad still drives my mom everywhere!!! God bless them!!! I pray that your FIL gets his old stamina back. Have a fabulous vacation!!! You deserve it!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIS193 9/24/2013 12:23AM

    Oh my! This is so hard for you and for your FIL as well.. you are doing the right thing but for him t is easier to go with the painkillers - not a good thing for him.
Keep up the tough love!
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LIVELYGIRL2 9/23/2013 10:17PM

  I don't know the situation much , other than this one blog. I do know that many in the medical profession push drugs and surgery , more than preventive , or aftercare.

I hope he gets physical therapy and someone to help/ encourage him to do it.

They do have to manage pain, in order to do this. However, hopefully you and your spouse can work with the doctor and physical therapist for something reasonable.

Also a person's outlook really enters into this.

Is he well enough to do adult daycare, or some activity also? emoticon

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WATERONE 9/23/2013 5:50PM

    You are trying to help him be healthier and stronger even tho he might not appreciate it right now. Good for you and your DH. We have a similar problem with my mom and it is killing us seeing her getting weaker and weaker all for lack of movement. She gets furious with us when we push her to move, but we'd rather have that than have her bedridden. Keep blogging and get out the frustrations. He is very lucky you both care about him so much. emoticon

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EMMACORY 9/23/2013 4:35PM

    Your FIL is blessed to have you in His corner! emoticon

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PMFISH 9/23/2013 4:04PM

    Sorry to hear FIL still having pain. Glad to hear you are doing well! Keep up the good work.

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MEADSBAY 9/23/2013 2:07PM

    Keep lovingly pushing him- he'll be glad you did when he gets through to the other side.
Medically, no-one really ever know if they're doing the 'right thing'-
it's such a crap shoot!
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ALIHIKES 9/23/2013 1:29PM

    Very very tough when a parent does not want to do the required physical therapy. My mom was the same way. She did not want to do what was required to regain her range of motion after the knee replacement. Unfortunately that left her with permanent limitations.

Just keep up the good work and try to get him motivated.

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GERIKRAGH 9/23/2013 12:02PM

    Sounds like you're doing the right things!

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1CRAZYDOG 9/23/2013 12:01PM

    So frustrating to see the answers but the one who NEEDS to (Your FIL!) doesn't. Hope your plan works. **SIGH** Glad you had a good time watching the game.

HUGS

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NEW-CAZ 9/23/2013 11:30AM

    Stand your ground Sallie, I'm sure its a dip in confidence and some fear that is making your FIL so awkward.
Love and patience hun emoticon

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GAYEMC 9/23/2013 10:48AM

    Sorry to hear about FIL, I hope today is better for him and he can cut back on the pain meds. Sounds like you had a fun afternoon with friends. Hope that took your mind off of him for a bit.

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PHATPAT18 9/23/2013 10:36AM

    You need to keep standing your ground until your FIL sees that you are trying to help him get better. Stay strong.

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LINDA! 9/23/2013 10:07AM

    I know how frustrating this must be for you. I wish he could get a bit of exercise and get rid of some of the pain.

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MSLZZY 9/23/2013 10:00AM

    Stand your ground with FIL. It is for his own good.
So happy you could have your steak and eat it too.
You are doing great! HUGS!

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GOANNA2 9/23/2013 9:59AM

    Oh Sallie, he is not helping his recovery is he? I can
understand how frustrated you are with him. Maybe
the realization that h may have to go to High Care in
a nursing home might get the message across. Did your
team win by the way? Sounds like you had a great steak.
You are doing so well with your disciplined eating.
Good for you. emoticon

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