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    NANCIER   27,047
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Those real-life conversations about losing weight

Sunday, September 22, 2013

It happened again - somebody who I hadn't seen for a while says to me, "You look great. What are you doing?" How do *you* deal with those kinds of questions?

Admittedly I find the question irksome, chiefly because I'm still embarrassed that I could lose 40 lbs and then gain it all back. Yeah, I'm nearly back to where I was, and I'm proud of that, but I can't quite shake the embarrassment.

Another reason to find it irksome: I'm not done with weight loss yet. I'm on the cusp of not being overweight anymore. My body seems to have gone through one of its transitions again and I'm better able to wear the smaller things in my closet, but they're not as comfortable as I'd like them to be. My head hasn't completely made the shift either. Weird thing is that when I was heavy, I had trouble looking at myself in the mirror because in my head I didn't look that heavy. Now that I'm thinner, I have trouble seeing myself in the mirror because I look trimmer than I think I am.

Crazy, right?

I know at some point all of this will be resolved. I watched a colleague at work who has lost about 110 lbs and has maintained it for about two years gracefully respond and smile to somebody who asked him about his weight loss and what he was doing.

Until it does get resolved in my head, I'll do my best to emulate him.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCIER 9/22/2013 3:37PM

    Thanks for your comments, ICEDEMETER & FATTYBOY230. I agree - unless I know that the other person is also actively working towards health/fitness goals, the topic should be off the table. That said, I'm always happy to swap recipes or new food discoveries. emoticon Confusing.

Laurie, the first time I dropped the weight I had a number of folks, older people who I work with, come up to me with sad faces to ask if I was ok - the assumption being that I had to be sick. Happily, I'm not getting that reaction this time 'round - maybe because they've seen it happen before. So I can totally sympathize with what you've experienced.



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ICEDEMETER 9/22/2013 2:50PM

    I'll trade ya --- when folks know that you've had cancer and they see a major weight loss, you get the overly concerned "so how arrrrrre you?" (yes - they really DO put all of those "r's" in there). It's somewhat disconcerting when they react with disappointed surprise when I tell them that it's just changing to a healthier menu and not that the cancer is back...

When it's a casual acquaintance or someone from work, I feel that a simple "thanks" is enough, or a "thanks - I'm really enjoying having the time to work out again".

When it's a close friend or relative whom I know really does want to make sure that all is ok, then I tell them the quick version that "We've changed how we're eating, hoping that we both get healthier".

It's a weird thing, though, since I personally feel that my weight is not a subject that is open unless I choose to bring it up. I can't help but feel a little bit "invaded" when someone says something about it uninvited. Comments on here are always fine, though, because I feel that I have "invited" them simply by posting here.

On the other hand, my immediate family all are eating healthier and exercising more, so it's a pretty frequent topic of conversation. We trade recipes, and workout tips, and my brother often opens the conversation with "So - what are you down to?". I only see them every 4 or 5 months or so (they live 800 miles away), so the phone conversations in the meantime make them really *look* for the changes when they see me.

It's weird how many different emotions go with the subject, and how they change depending on who is asking and what mood I'm in that day. It's going to be a while yet 'til I *see* the changes in the mirror, so I'm mostly surprised when someone outside of the family sees a big enough difference to comment on it!

Let me know if you work out something that works --- this is a whole new world to me!

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FATTYBOY230 9/22/2013 2:37PM

    somebody asks : I always say:" doctor told me if I I don't lose weight ill die" I know that everybody is going to die someday anyway. lol

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