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So had the tough love talk with FIL

Sunday, September 22, 2013

My DH and I talked and agree about his Dad and that he needs to take control and begin doing things for himself. We were disappointed yesterday when we went to visit as the doctor had just been there and after Dad complained of the back soreness due to exercises from the therapist she gave him a muscle relaxant. So he was in bed asleep! When he woke up my DH and I made him get up and walk out to the table for lunch. We had a long heart to heart with him and told him that we didn't like him taking a muscle relaxant that was going to just have him sleeping. We told him that he can't let the therapy and recovery beat him that he needs to take responsibility and tell the nurses to let him do it himself. We told him that the doctor said the bad/discomfort was muscle related and nothing to do with his surgery. I told him he needed to think of the pain as "good" since it means he is working those muscles and they are telling him so. I told him the only reason I was being a little tough was that I loved him so much and want him to get his quality life back. I mean that was the whole purpose of having the elective surgery. I told him he needs to fight harder. We also told him that the muscle relaxant was okay at night but not during the day as he needed to be up and walking more. Then I had a long talk with the head nurse and told her that he should get up every hour and move more just sitting in his chair. The nurse agreed and said she would talk to all the nurses and be sure that they let him do more things for himself. It's so hard but he needs to try harder. He seemed to take the talk well...we will see.

Enough of that. Looking forward to a nice walk with the doggies. The will be cheering on the Seahawks today.

Just saw that weather report for Seattle area and I know I better pack warm things as I will be cold for sure. 50's now seem like 30's to me after living in warm Mexico for 8 years....blood is thin.

Hope you all are having a nice week end.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I was in Seattle on the 23rd for all of 3 hours, our bus stopped at Pikes's market then we went on to Vancouver
    1604 days ago
    Must be so hard to deal with when you can see he's not doing as much as he could be. I guess he's your husbands father and not yours. I sure hope he did listen and gets around more. hope your affirm was good hugs!
    1609 days ago
    Good to have had the talk with FIL. He really is
    getting spoilt by getting everything done for him.
    Hope that your talk gets him moving. Enjoy the walk.
    How long will you go to Seattle for? I have a Spark friend
    who lives in the area too. SHAWN - do you know her?
    1609 days ago
    Glad you had a talk with FIL. If he thinks about it he really would like his independence back. Sometimes it's nice to be waited on but if it was a necessity it would be very different
    1609 days ago
  • LIS193
    Well done! That was hard but necessary... Hope he heard you and will improve!
    1609 days ago
    Tough Love is hard, but necessary!!! You did the right thing!!!! Have a great walk; and I hope your team starts winning more!!! LOL!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1609 days ago
    You did the right thing by telling FIL he needs to do more for himself.
    1610 days ago
    It sounds like you did the right thing with FIL, I hope he heard you. I hope the weather clears for your trip. It was rainy today.
    1610 days ago
  • IRP1114
    Glad to hear you both had a good talk in efforts to help him. I hope it did work!

    Yes Sallie pack up some good layers. I just got back home from a super wet soccer game. Rained on us the whole time!! Just last Sunday I wore capri pants and a tank top and put sun block on the kiddos to go to the game. And now we have days like this to look forward for most likely the rest of the soccer season. I am sure we might get a few nice days here and there. But better you come prepared emoticon
    1610 days ago
    That wasn't an easy conversation, but a necessary one! Good for you both having the courage to do what you know is best for your FIL. I hope the increase movement helps!

    Hang in there and pack an extra sweatshirt or sweater!
    1610 days ago
    Good job having the difficult conversation with your FIL. I agree with you and hope he takes it to heart. It's not easy, but he really will be better off doing as much as he can by himself.

    HUGS and hope the rest of the day is good for you and your DH.
    1610 days ago
  • SKATER787
    Hope that helps.
    1610 days ago
    1610 days ago
    Way to go. Know when he is better he will appreciate all that you guys have done for him.
    1610 days ago
    Wishing Strength ..the strength to stay strong and make your FIL move and get his health back!

    1610 days ago
    Don,t be discouraged. You are doing the right things. Sometimes you have to be the one to say the hard things tat they don't want to hear. Keep on doing it! Keeping you in my prayers.
    1610 days ago
    Sometimes you need a loved one to shake you out of your shell, I just know he'll thank you for it once he sees an improvement.

    Enjoy the rest of you weekend Sallie emoticon
    1610 days ago
    your fil will feel better when he moves more . it is hard when you hurt so much but will be so good for him hugs
    1610 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    Brava, Sallie! I know your F-i-L will appreciate it when he begins to move around more. Positive waves!

    Due to the lack of my former extra insulation and moving to Florida, I get chilled at 70 degrees! I'm still amazed by that.

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
    1610 days ago
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