Saturday, September 21, 2013
Went to work at one of my PRN jobs which I seldom get called to go to last night.It has been like 3 month since last I was there. But when they asked if I was available for last night I said yes because I wanted to stay on their good side and I needed the money. So I went in and things went fine. Then the supervisor, who is very pleasant, tells me she has my review. I was kind of shocked because I have not worked there very long and only got about 4 days of work from them. But the review was very good, I even got several excellences. It was nice to know that they like me. So things are progressing slowly but surely. I wish that I could work full time day after day but I know that if I go back to that I will start to burn out and will end up getting myself in trouble. I do feel bad that I don't seem to be able at this point to cope well enough to work days back to back hence the reason I have a part time and PRN jobs. After 12hours last night I would not have been in any shape to go back in today for another shift. Maybe it's my health, my insomnia, my poor coping, my emotional immaturity, I don't know. But after all that I have been through in my life you think I have cornered the market on coping. My one guess would be that physically I don't recover like I used to when I was young. And when you are in pain a lot, coping mentally in nursing can be very difficult. At least for me.
I got back on track after a few days of lax behavior with my food tracking. And I did have a problem with sugar. For those days I really had a craving for junk. I didn't beat up on myself about it I just kept calm and moved on. This weight loss is a very slow process. But the way I see it, if I can keep at it for the long haul, say a few years, then when I do make my goals they will be more likely to stick. And at 53years the weight does not fly off. It is also a continuous learning curve to in corporate a more healthy lifestyle, one that I have not had for most of my life. One including mind, body, and soul. Well, here's to the journey. Keith