Saturday, September 21, 2013
I screamed after weighing myself this morning! I couldn't help it... I've really kicked it up a notch for the past 2 weeks and it resulted in losing 1.2 pounds in that time. Really??!!
Despite losing another 6 inches total in the last month I find myself so irritated at the scale. I know it's silly but I just wanted to have lost 15 pounds by now.
I'm not discouraged, I'm not going to quit. Actually my struggle right now is to keep myself from going off the other side of the deep end and overdoing it or starving myself, because I know that would be short-lived and disastrous. It's a matter of balance and not giving way to the CRAZY-A** thoughts in my head telling me that this is all for nothing and I'm never going to be able to do this. I have to remove myself from my own emotions and think of what I would tell someone else. I have to take my own advice.
I've come this far, I've seen changes, & I CAN do this. HEck, I AM doing this! The scale is not a measure of my worth. It may not even be an accurate measure of my efforts. Although honestly, I have a hard time believing that whole "muscle weighs more than fat tissue" thing. Scientifically, yeah okay... but does it REALLY factor in when you're over 200 lbs?? I just don't want to kid myself. I'd appreciate some insight on that one. But no matter what my body composition is right now, I'm exercising discipline and obedience to what is beneficial for me.
Why does it feel like it's not enough? Because I gave myself expectations. Realistic or not, I set myself up for this. Yeah, it sucks, but I still have a choice right now: I can let it take me down, or I can accept it and keep moving forward. I am SO over that whole starting over again and I'm NOT going down without a fight.