10 Ways Having a Toddler is Like Being in Prison
Saturday, September 21, 2013
As a parent, your schedule is often dictated by the needs of your child, especially when that child is young. With that in mind, many aspects of the parenting experience could be compared with prison – complete with a sadistic little warden who harbors a Napoleon complex.
You can’t do anything without constant supervision
Every morning begins with someone screaming at you to wake up
You’re always terrified something bad will happen when you’re in the shower
You’re always terrified someone is going to crawl into your bed in the middle of the night
Meal time is fraught with tension
Someone’s always watching you go to the bathroom
You never get to choose the movie and then it’s hard to hear it over all the hooting and hollering
You’re always terrified someone is going to punch, bite, tackle, stab or attack you with some kind of makeshift weapon
Contraband — like booze, chocolate and adult entertainment — must be smuggled in and consumed in secret
Conjugal visits are hard to come by, require intense scheduling, and are often interrupted
BONUS: One Way Having a Toddler is NOT Like Being in Prison
Being placed in solitary confinement is a reward, not a punishment!