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10 Ways Having a Toddler is Like Being in Prison

Saturday, September 21, 2013

As a parent, your schedule is often dictated by the needs of your child, especially when that child is young. With that in mind, many aspects of the parenting experience could be compared with prison – complete with a sadistic little warden who harbors a Napoleon complex.

You can’t do anything without constant supervision

Every morning begins with someone screaming at you to wake up

You’re always terrified something bad will happen when you’re in the shower

You’re always terrified someone is going to crawl into your bed in the middle of the night

Meal time is fraught with tension

Someone’s always watching you go to the bathroom

You never get to choose the movie and then it’s hard to hear it over all the hooting and hollering

You’re always terrified someone is going to punch, bite, tackle, stab or attack you with some kind of makeshift weapon

Contraband — like booze, chocolate and adult entertainment — must be smuggled in and consumed in secret

Conjugal visits are hard to come by, require intense scheduling, and are often interrupted

BONUS: One Way Having a Toddler is NOT Like Being in Prison

Being placed in solitary confinement is a reward, not a punishment!
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