Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    MILLISMA   199,106
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY!!!!

Thursday, September 19, 2013





FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:



1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
(This one took me a minute)

23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?



emoticon Mary Anne


Happy, healthy Friday, spark friends emoticon


Thank you, Kathryn!!!! Happy Thursday. I'll be traveling Friday so won't be blogging and my mind is elsewhere.....lost maybe......ha, ha, ha!!!

SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PCOH051610 9/26/2013 7:59PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOROTHYBERO 9/20/2013 6:04AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 9/19/2013 11:44PM

    love these! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLEWIND53 9/19/2013 11:23PM

    Really, really good! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHACHAOREO 9/19/2013 10:13PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EABL81 9/19/2013 9:35PM

    Heehee hee hee hee!

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 9/19/2013 9:27PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OVERACTIVEELBOW 9/19/2013 8:29PM

    Thanks for the chuckles.
Audra

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARTJAC 9/19/2013 8:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NORASPAT 9/19/2013 6:14PM

    I loved the Mermaid one and yes the penny finally dropped Pat in Maine.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANHELIC 9/19/2013 6:07PM

    Good ones!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAC936 9/19/2013 5:57PM

    emoticon these were funny

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVINGFREE19 9/19/2013 4:58PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NAYPOOIE 9/19/2013 3:24PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIZSPRINGSTEEN 9/19/2013 12:58PM

    That was hilarious! Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOUIE-LILY 9/19/2013 12:43PM

    LOL, literally :)
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
0309COOKIE 9/19/2013 11:29AM

    These were great! And in keeping with the assteroids, why isn't it called preparation ah? Lol.


Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEROSES 9/19/2013 10:49AM

    Love them, Mary Ann! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 9/19/2013 10:31AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHRYNLP 9/19/2013 9:58AM

    Still Thursday here... LoL... these are fun to read! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
 


Other Entries by MILLISMA