Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Okay, two good days so I return to Sparking a bit more frequently as long as things remain this way.
Even with ALL the stress I stayed on plan & was down to my lowest 192 last week. Since he started improving it's like my bingeing has returned! The better he's doing the more I'm shoveling in my mouth ! At first I didn't worry too much because I had dealt with A LOT of stress , but now it's like I'm back to being out of control with binges again. I've done it for several days now & I'm not seeming to snap myself out of it. I think I'm trying to comfort myself.(it's a reflective guess)
Maybe now that things have started to improve I felt such joy & happiness & MUCH less stress. Feelings I haven't been used to feeling for a long time. I think I'm having anxiety that this may change & his mental illness may resurface. I want SO much for him to be well. I noticed depression the last couple of days, even though I am SO thankful. Confusing.
How do I combat this. I'm eating A LOT ! Not good, don't want to negate all my hard work !