I am a binge eater.
One of my goals on this journey to wellness is to be able to do what I call "sane eating".
I don't really have a set definition of sane eating, but it's contrary to a lot of disordered eating that I do.
Today was a weird food day and I did not get regular meals (because of not being hungry), so when I finished at the gym I was really hungry.
But because I go directly from there to Bible study at church, I did not have time to eat. There are some snacks at church, but only chips-candies-chocolate bars.
I did not really want that after going to the gym!!
So I waited until I got home and I was famished.
I made myself a snack -bowl of yogurt with 2 pears cut in wedges (to dip in)
The problem came when I sat with my mom in her living room, and ate while talking to her and watching tv.
Oops...one of my goal is to not eat sitting on the couch and watching tv.
So I had a decision to make: did I reach my daily goal, or did I fail?
Well, one of the reason that I made that goal was because I was doing a lot of eating while not hungry/because i'm bored/because it would be good ect.
Tonight, I was eating because I was genuinely hungry.
My old thinking would have been "no , you failed, you are no good, what were you thinking? ect. ect. ect." until I would have binged.
My new thinking analyzed my actions for what it was, no judging.
So I think I did reach my goal anyways.
AND.....when i'm that hungry, my response is to have an eating frenzy that usually ends up in my bingeing or eating way too much food.
And tonight could have gone that way, but when I opened the pantry door for more food, I was able to acknowledge that feeling and tell myself to wait 10 minutes for my brain to catch on that I did actually feed it something.
Went for a shower and the feeling of hunger went away!
That to me is sane eating.
Goal # 1 : no eating in the car.
Goal # 2 " no eating on the couch.
Have a great day!