So, my positivity and motivation disappeared Friday and I spent the whole day inside and not tracking what I ate as a result. Then my brother came to visit and we went out drinking and I ate a big, salty meal out Saturday night. When I weighed myself Sunday, the scale said I had not only not lost the 2lbs. I was on track to lose that week, I had gained two more back and was back at square one from the start of the month. I didn't know how that was possible, because even though I had not been entirely careful about what and how much I was eating, I KNEW that I had not consumed 14,000 calories in order to sabotage myself that much, but I couldn't explain what I saw on the scale in front of me. It just didn't add up. So I was lazy that day, too. It sapped my motivation. Charlie stuck around until Monday night, so I didn't get out to the gym, entertaining him as my excuse. Monday night Hunter brought home a red velvet cake from work. I cut us a little portion and sent the rest back to work with him the next day because even having it around I knew would be a horrible temptation, and my will power just isn't that great when it's in the house. I'm so glad I did because I had a slice of it yesterday morning as "breakfast" and then finished the rest (about 3 slices worth) as "breakfast" this morning. And I haven't been to the gym in 5 days. Oye vey, did I fall hard off that wagon!
The bright side is I figured out that the extra 4lbs. on the scale was a reflection of the heavily salty meal I had Saturday night, because yesterday morning it said I had in fact lost 1 pound from the previous week, so I was right about things not adding up. But, boy, is it hard to motivate myself to get back to the gym and into that routine. It doesn't help that Hunter came back from his camping trip Sunday with a minor flu. He hasn't gone to the gym as a result, until he's no longer congested, and it means I have zero motivation to get to the gym in the morning by myself, which translates to a difficult time motivating myself to go the the gym alone later in the day.
But I've decided, today is the turning point. I'm not letting myself go down this road, anymore. It stops with breakfast. Lunch will be a healthy meal, and I WILL do something on track for exercises today. Oftentimes, I really am my own worst enemy. But I am going to pick out the positives from this to get my motivation back:
1. I sent 3/4 of the delicious cake away AFTER I had tasted it, so even when I inappropriately overate, I couldn't eat the whole or even half a cake!
2. I CAN stop my self-sabotage (relatively) quickly and not let it turn into a month of backsliding and feel like it's "too late" before I stop myself. And I WILL start again today, the day I stop it, rather than waiting another month to get back on track!
3. I have that "1 step backwards, 2 step forwards" post to refer to, to help me get back on track! Thank goodness this break-down came AFTER that!
So, here goes nothing.