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It's all a question of balance

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

LIfe goes on.

No matter what we face each day life around us just continues. Sometimes we have to make choices that are unpleasant, and sometimes we have to make them on behalf of others. That's what I faced today. On Monday we had a meeting with experts about my mother's care. Today I had to meet with her GP. At the Monday meeting it was suggested altering her medication. This sounded plausible, and it would have been so easy to say 'Yes, OK, just do it', but I'm so glad I didn't.

My mother is unable to make decisions on her own behalf. In fact, she is unable to do anything for herself. She is totally dependent for every single part of her life - she can't even turn herself. She receives total nursing care, and I have to qualify that with EXCELLENT total nursing care. She is turned every two hours by night and day and the quality of her skin shows that this really happens. Anyway, that wasn't the subject of today's visit, as I said, it was medication.

Her GP was a little concerned at the suggestion of changing the meds. Thankfully he was even more concerned when meds based on morphine were suggested. I was horrified. I had no idea that this was the situation, and so thankful that she has a caring doctor who has her best interests at heart, even though it could be said that she has no real quality of life. I spent over an hour with her this morning. She may be lying, immobile, in a bed, she may have to be fed pureed food, she has other problems too, but today her mental state was as clear as anything and when I became upset as something happened she said, as clearly as anything, 'Don't worry, I'm happy'

She has a small private room. Staff visit her on a regular basis, checking on her comfort etc, they always have a friendly word with her and although she may not recognise them all she always gives them a smile and responds. I learnt today that staff visit her more than any other resident, because her room is so peaceful. When they are stressed by other residents actions they go and talk to my mother, and that gives them the strength to carry on with their day. This is such a lovely testimony.

I'm only mentioning this because it is such a contrast to the excitement and wonder of yesterday. From the heights of Mount Everest to the stark depths of reality. Life goes on, and it's all a question of balance.

I blew away the cobwebs again today - by walking to the rail station. My DH had gone to London, and the walk there was perfect to bring back a sensible perspective

Sometimes life is a bit of a blur - like the above picture that was shot 'from the hip' today. Familiar things blur and are almost of no consequence. Then suddenly, life is full of clarity and we can see the way ahead.

Changing our lifestyle is the turning point in our walk with healthy eating. When life is a blur we don't really think what we are putting into our mouths. As we carry on with Spark our needs for nutrition alter and everything becomes more clear.

Old or young, we must decide what is best for our bodies and our lives. And if we can find peace at the same time, life is perfect.

Onwards and Upwards.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JACKIE15108
    What a wonderful blog! Your mother sounds like a wonderful person and you are also wonderful - t care so much for her, to visit her, and t pay such close attention to her medical are is something many people can't do. Take care.
    1545 days ago
    I was so moved yesterday when I read your blog I couldn't say anything. What a wonderful person your mother must be, full of peace. God bless you and all your family.
    1546 days ago
    Sassy, thank you for sharing your life with us! I cared for the elderly until January when my last client died. She was more of a mother to me than my own mother. I've taken time to grieve her passing and work on my home. It was such an honor to know her and care for her. I get the impression that your mother is a ray of light to those who care for her. What a wonderful heritage you have! emoticon
    1546 days ago
    Your mother sounds like just the person I would want to visit in a home too, for my first job was in such a facility. Yes, it sounds like they are doing an excellent job with her for I can testify that anything less than perfect turning and attention to body pillows will almost immediately lead to bedsores or skin tears. Our skin becomes so paper thin as we age. But to hear what she said to you so clearly made my heart melt. There were very few patients in my care that had their minds and of those only half had made the choice to live happily. They really did entertain themselves with the goings on of the staff and other patients, and I quickly learned that even someone bedridden could be a great blessing to me just to banter with daily. It's a hard job and people like your mother are the bright spots of any day.

    I'm so glad you are keeping such a good eye on her and her care. The majority of patients are rarely visited b/c it pains the family to see their loved ones in such a state. But they know, they know that they've been visited even when you think they don't. Those moments of clarity may come at 2 a.m. and they'll say, "my daughter came to see me today" with such pride it makes your heart swell up.
    You are a good daughter. Strength and peace to you.
    1546 days ago
    Powerful analogys as usual. made me think about my mother.
    1546 days ago
    Great blog. Life is full of choices. You are one amazing woman. I bet your mom is so proud!
    1546 days ago
    Your mum sounds precious!
    The only thing I would think about morphine is how do you know how much is too much. As we age we become so fragile. When my grandfather was dying he had pain, he did not want his morphine. Finally the time came, my mother and her sister thought it was best to just give it to him. The very first dose, he totally relaxed and quickly passed. Right or wrong who knows. They just thought they were helping him. Maybe it was the answer- who knows. But these are such hard decisions when they are not the person's.
    (((HUGS))) and prayers to you and your mum.
    1547 days ago
    Find your peace in Lord! :) He will never fail you! :)
    1547 days ago
    emoticon for sharing.
    1547 days ago
    .This is a beautiful blog from a wonderful daughter. I love your comparison of the highs and lows of Everest yesterday to the depressing reality of your Mum's failing body. Your pictures are great, as always. I enjoyed the blur-not letting it all go by mindlessly, but focusing so we can clearly continue on the journey. And I especially enjoyed the swans. As I get older I love the old "Ugly Duckling" story even more. Funny how many SP women are over 50 and just now finding their beauty. The peaceful respite that your Mum's room provides for those caregivers is proof that her spirit radiates love and calm from a body that no longer works. I was truly touched by your blog today. Know that you and your family are in my daily prayers especially as you deal with the frailties of human life. The cycles of one day with your energetic grandson to the next with your paralyzed Mum...and how it's all the circle of life.
    Staying calm and level in spite of it all with a goal of health and wellness...that's you!
    emoticon emoticon
    1547 days ago
    How wonderful at the end of the day to have visitors who come to you for the peace you can give them. Such a lovely story.
    1547 days ago
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