Wednesday, September 18, 2013
I'm not sure what to write about and I may just meander around with this but I have been a part of Spark for 3 months now and feel like a sort of pariah. Now my situation does tend to be different and my outlook is my own. It is shaped from having autistic tendencies so I do not try to offend others with my comments or status updates but it is part of the world as I see it.
I'm 39 and understand the world does revolve and change whether i like it or not. My status is more of a matter of fact type statement being in that I have not had others experience in having trouble with weight loss, (in which I am luckier than most I think) my ability to focus on a task at hand, ie calorie counts, exercise, following size portions are relatively easier for me. I am not able to grasp to an extent the troubles others have with that concept. I know it is a struggle for many but the knowledge and experience for myself doesn't really mesh well in my head.
Being a man on Spark, I feel left out a bit in that the proportion of men to women is generally higher. That in itself isn't the problem given I'm more prone to speak to women then men because I usually have more in common with them (among other issues I have with men in general besides sports). I think that because I am married as well that I'm less likely to get responses or comments. I don't gravitate towards blogging or prolific posting which doesn't lead to more interaction or communication and I will take some of those concerns and direct them at myself where they belong.
To me it seems the community of Spark is actually a small number of people who are active and visable. The vast majority seem to be ones who came and left or those who are more content in staying behind the screen without being seen or counted upon. Team Leaders who try to get the most positions without being able to actually be a part of 95% of the teams they are entrusted with of supporting. Fundamentally I think Spark is a good site but it is missing a distinct overall leadership.
Overall I am just rambling/ranting about things I have no control over. I can't explain how I view things very well and hope to have someone understand just as well as I do and vise versa. I do my best and have learned through life I can only work with the clay I have. I can't change the mix but I can craft it as well as I know how to create something that is beautiful in my eyes. My art may not be pleasing to everyone of course, but if I accomplish it and am proud enough to display it, then I will have achieved my goal or hope.