The Dark Thoughts in My Brain
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
I am worthless.
I am a waste of space.
I am useless.
Anything I can do, someone else can do better.
I will never get a job I want.
I will never have friends.
I will never be loved.
I will never make anything of myself.
My life is just the time between when I am born and when I die, nothing more.
I know none of this is true, but it’s how I feel sometimes. And it’s hard not to be discouraged when things don’t look like they’re getting any better. Sending my resume out to every advertising agency with a New York office is useless, because none of them are looking for someone with no degree and minimal experience, but I know I have to keep trying.
Coming up on three days of food, family, and stress. I’m not excited. It’s going to be hard. And I haven’t been to Starbucks since Friday, which means I’ll be latte-less for over a week.
Whatever. I’ll make it work.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I am so sorry you find yourself in this "place". I have been there often and sometimes it's just so hard to climb out of. We just want to curl up in a ball and stay there. Keep trying, keep looking at job sites to see what's out there and maybe start at an entry level job and see what you can do from there. I'm rooting for you!!
1319 days ago
I understand how you feel, as I have felt the same way many times. But, you cannot let the darkness overtake you. Believe me, I know that looking for a job sucks, and being alone sucks. I also know that when you least expect it, something does come along. (I also know when people said that to me I wanted to punch them, so I can understand if you want to punch me, LOL!)
When I least expected it, I had a recruiter call me about a job. It wasn't something that I was looking to do, but now that I am doing it, I enjoy it. As for love, it came from and old friend when we ran into each other after many years.
Keep plugging away, do not give up!!! You will find what you are looking for. And like BeeJay49 said, you have to love yourself first, so think about all the great things about YOU, don't dwell on the negative!!!
1320 days ago
Sarah, we all have times like that. Let me assure you that you are NOT worthless, useless or a waste of space! You will find love, it may just not be the right time for you yet and you do have friends, all of us!!
I know finding a job now days can be a major stressor, but keep looking because there is someone out there who needs you and you just need to find them. You need to love yourself before you can make an impression on anyone else and I know you CAN do that. You know the way, one day at a time, one step at a time and you WILL make it! HUGS!
1320 days ago
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