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one little baby step...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

i haven't been very active on comments and blogs lately... emoticon

i have been trying to limit time on the computer a bit more... emoticon

BUT, that doesn't mean i haven't been thinking about all my spark friends and fitbit friends! emoticon

things for me have been very stressful lately.. just like everyone i am sure. emoticon

but when things get really intense for me, i usually shut down, and hide. i have done that for YEARS. it is my defense/coping mechanism. emoticon if i don't deal with it, it can't be there, right? emoticon

ooops, i forgot, along with shutting down and hiding... i EAT! emoticon emoticon ...

well, that hasn't changed. i still have had some "lapses" of falling off the wagon. actually, i think it is more JUMPING off the wagon, since i am usually pretty much saying at the time, "HA! and because this happen to me, i am gonna eat these four pieces of pizza emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon , AND just to show you how serious i am, i am gonna eat this whole tub of ice cream too! emoticon emoticon ! HA-HA! that will show you! emoticon

but usually after, it is a bunch of self loathing (well, i still do that a bit, too.) emoticon , but i go into a tail spin. emoticon

lately, i have been getting back on, and riding that horse, even though i got kicked in the teeth. emoticon i have had that HUGE splurge, or pity party, or whatever, but then i have been going for my "wogs" emoticon , doing exercise dvds emoticon , and try to eat healthy emoticon , and drink more water emoticon

yes, i still feel HORRIBLE emoticon , but i have been trying to bounce back a bit quicker. i guess it is one small baby step. emoticon .

i know i have a long way to go... but i think i might be changing just a little. emoticon

i guess i am writing this, NOT to get "kudos" emoticon , or anything, but more to tell you that i am about as plain and average as they come... but i am making a small step in the right direction of making a healthy lifestyle change emoticon , and honey... if "I" can do it... emoticon

i know that it might sound a little cliche`... but it is true. i am so boringly normal, and if i can make a small step, ANYONE can. i fall, and fail and quit, and have pity parties, i have bouts of depression, OCD, bulimia and whatever...

BUT i have made a small step, i might fall again, but it is "if" and "how" you get up after that fall. here is one of my favorite quotes, from one of the "ROCKY" movies...

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!"

so here is to getting up and just keep moving... even if it is only one baby step at a time... emoticon

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    1587 days ago
    We can't run until we learn to walk. We can't walk until we take that first step. Great blog!!!
    1588 days ago
    Love this blog! Who knew that the movie Rocky was so profound!! I have missed your teasing on fitbit and now that I know you better, when I'm missing you, I'll come find you and we will fight life together side by side. I've got your back Sparkfriend! So great to hear from you!!

    1588 days ago
    That was fantastic! Really enjoyed this blog! I totally understand where you are coming from because i am the exact same way, though I have been turning to exercise most of the time now! Great job and glad to see you are back!

    and you haven't failed if you keep coming back. It's when you stop trying, that's when you fail.
    1588 days ago
    I REALLY enjoyed your blog. I related to it so well too...not so much the eating anymore, but that life will beat you down if you let it. Sometimes, you try not to let it, but its a tough enemy and will hunt you down and find you. But I get what you are saying...baby steps DO count.
    Congrats on your awesome attitude at fighting back.
    1588 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Keep pushing even when the day seems overwhelming! We are always here to cheer you on and cheer you up!
    one day at a time! It is all we can do.
    Hope you are feeling better about things soon! emoticon
    1588 days ago
    1588 days ago
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