i haven't been very active on comments and blogs lately...
i have been trying to limit time on the computer a bit more...
BUT, that doesn't mean i haven't been thinking about all my spark friends and fitbit friends!
things for me have been very stressful lately.. just like everyone i am sure.
but when things get really intense for me, i usually shut down, and hide. i have done that for YEARS. it is my defense/coping mechanism.
if i don't deal with it, it can't be there, right?
ooops, i forgot, along with shutting down and hiding... i EAT!
well, that hasn't changed. i still have had some "lapses" of falling off the wagon. actually, i think it is more JUMPING off the wagon, since i am usually pretty much saying at the time, "HA! and because this happen to me, i am gonna eat these four pieces of pizza
, AND just to show you how serious i am, i am gonna eat this whole tub of ice cream too!
! HA-HA! that will show you!
but usually after, it is a bunch of self loathing (well, i still do that a bit, too.)
, but i go into a tail spin.
lately, i have been getting back on, and riding that horse, even though i got kicked in the teeth.
i have had that HUGE splurge, or pity party, or whatever, but then i have been going for my "wogs"
, doing exercise dvds
, and try to eat healthy
, and drink more water
yes, i still feel HORRIBLE
, but i have been trying to bounce back a bit quicker. i guess it is one small baby step.
i know i have a long way to go... but i think i might be changing just a little.
i guess i am writing this, NOT to get "kudos"
, or anything, but more to tell you that i am about as plain and average as they come... but i am making a small step in the right direction of making a healthy lifestyle change
, and honey... if "I" can do it...
i know that it might sound a little cliche`... but it is true. i am so boringly normal, and if i can make a small step, ANYONE can. i fall, and fail and quit, and have pity parties, i have bouts of depression, OCD, bulimia and whatever...
BUT i have made a small step, i might fall again, but it is "if" and "how" you get up after that fall. here is one of my favorite quotes, from one of the "ROCKY" movies...
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!"
so here is to getting up and just keep moving... even if it is only one baby step at a time...