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    STEPH-KNEE   73,638
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The Reverse Golden Rule

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

So we are all probably familiar with The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or treat others the way you want to be treated works pretty well too. Now of course not everyone follows this, but it's a pretty nice idea. emoticon

But what about the reverse of that? I think we need to remember to be kind to ourselves just as we would be kind to someone else. I think this rule definitely applies in the weight loss category, and Spark people is a perfect example of this!

emoticon Example 1: A Spark Friend posts how they totally messed up this week and they gained 1 lb! (Or maybe "only" lost 1 pound).

Reaction from Spark Friends: Don't worry! It happens to all of us! Just keep pushing forward and make this week a better week! Or if it was a case of "only" losing 1 pound, it would be: 1 pound is great! That is 1 less pound for you to lose in the future, you should be proud!

No matter what your reaction would be to the fellow Sparker, I am sure it would never be negative.

emoticon Example 2: A Spark Friend posts a blog about how they got attacked by the Binge Monster last night, and they totally derailed their progress.

Reaction from Spark Friends: I am so sorry to hear you had such a rough day! Today is a new day and a fresh start, and I know that you can make it a great day! emoticon

You would never tell a fellow Sparker: Oh man, what a piggy *oink oink*, how could you allow yourself to eat all of that food? You REALLY should have more self control!

So if we wouldn't respond to a fellow Sparker in such a negative way, why is it okay for us to to talk to ourselves that way? The answer to that is simple, it's not okay! But sometimes we forget that we need to treat ourselves with that same kindness, and we can get so down on ourselves.

I was guilty of that today. I had a horrible day Monday and despite blogging, venting, and even explaining to myself that food would not help my problems in any way, I still ended up with a visit from the Binge Monster. Today came all the negativity... Some of my questions to myself were valid: "Why would you allow yourself to do that?" "How do you feel after overeating?" I believe those questions were valid because I need to learn from my mistakes and work through the reasons I allow myself to eat that way from time to time. Getting in touch with my feelings was also helpful because I felt like crap physically and emotionally. So there was essentially no pay off from the "incident" yesterday. But then came the nasty comments: "This is why you will always be fat, you can't control yourself!" "What kind of a person would eat all of that food?" "Do you realize you ate enough calories for TWO days, how disgusting!"

But I finally had to step back and stop all the negativity. For me personally, that negativity creates a vicious circle that could lead me right into another binge. So I had to stop it, and turn it back around. I am still not proud of what happened yesterday, but I can chose to move forward and make today a better day and to make it a better week. I can continue to get stronger and take pride in the fact my Binge Monster days have become less and less over the last year and a half. I have gone from having several a month, to even skipping a month here or there or having 1-2. That is definitely progress, and it is something I will always have to work at and be conscious about, but it is definitely worth it!

So next time you are ready to beat yourself up about whatever it is that happened, stop and ask yourself what you would tell your fellow Spark Friends, and don't allow the negativity to creep in!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LORIVIOLA 3/12/2014 8:40AM

    THIS IS A FANTASTIC POST.

emoticon SO MUCH FOR THIS.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DRTOVAH 10/31/2013 8:30PM

  valid points, I agree with you!

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EFFRAYECHILDE 10/7/2013 5:08AM

    emoticon

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WHITEANGEL4 9/27/2013 9:34PM

    Thanks for the great blog,you are reinforcing the things that we all need to remember

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ALIDOSHA 9/27/2013 6:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CORKYCORAL 9/21/2013 11:35PM

  emoticon Way to go everyone keep trying emoticon

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4RASCALS 9/21/2013 9:34AM

    Awesome blog, and so very true. Thank you for reminding me

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HEATHERFREE 9/20/2013 10:24PM

    Thanks love this


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MRSRIGS1 9/20/2013 8:12PM

    So, so true! We must remember kindness to thyself! emoticon

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ZAPPATTACK 9/20/2013 7:37PM

    I totally needed this! Thanks for sharing your feelings :)

Even though the Binge Monster (and the Drunk-at-Weddings Monster) have visited me a lot lately, I have to remember to look at the positives - that I'm here and willing to change.

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RAINA413 9/20/2013 9:16AM

    You make a very excellent point! We really can be too hard on ourselves and need to remember we are our own best friend too!

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BLUEJEAN99 9/20/2013 1:50AM

    emoticon

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CICELY360 9/20/2013 12:05AM

  Good point. I never thought of that.

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JSEATTLE 9/19/2013 11:47PM

  So true, we are hard on ourselves but need to remember we are our own best friend too!

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JOANNHUNT 9/19/2013 10:15PM

    AWESOME BLOG. SO VERY TRUE. THAT AWEFULL MEANY MONSTER STICKS IT'S HEAD IN WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG. TOMORROWS ANOTHER DAY TO BE AWESOME.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ONLYTEMPORARY 9/19/2013 9:10PM

    So true!

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AMARILYNH 9/19/2013 8:49PM

    YES!!! If we'd treat ourselves as we treat our friends we'd all be much happier!! The bible says "Love your neighbor as yourself"! So we NEED to LOVE ourselves!!

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JUSGETTENBY42 9/19/2013 6:34PM

    emoticon

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JERICHO1991 9/19/2013 6:22PM

    yes

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FLMOMX2 9/19/2013 3:21PM

    Super blog! emoticon

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MOTIVATIONFOUND 9/19/2013 3:20PM

    This is a fantastic blog...and so very true! I beat myself up over every little mistake or "weakness" but I would never do that to my Spark Friends. Why is it that it's so easy to remember we're only human when we're talking to someone else, but we can't cut ourselves the same break? I'm so glad you stopped those negative voices in your head and posted this blog. Thanks so much for posting!

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LCRUMLEY81 9/19/2013 3:03PM

  great post thank you

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BAMAJAM 9/19/2013 2:32PM

  What a valuable lesson here! It is time to become our own best friend, and time to become our own hero! Thank you for this message today----
Keep on Sparking!

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SIMONEKP 9/19/2013 2:04PM

    great thoughts, I often say the same things to myself when I catch myself being really on myself about something. I guess we can all sympathize with others but have a harder time giving ourselves a break!

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NONNAOF2 9/19/2013 1:55PM

  You are so right! We can only move forward and not let negativity take over! You should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished and move on ahead! Good work! :-)

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IDICEM 9/19/2013 1:51PM

  We must believe in ourselves through the good and the bad. Thanks for the reminder.

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SUSIEMT 9/19/2013 1:10PM

    Good for you! You gots to do what you got to do! Great job on the steps! Keep up the good work but pay attention to your body!

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SUSIEMT 9/19/2013 1:04PM

    Another good blog Steph! Using spark coach our challenge yesterday was to ask ourselves whenever we were reaching for food " are you really hungry? Or is it something else?" I have to admit when I first read that I thought oh yeah! Like I am going to do that! Well, I actually did ask myself those questions. Go figure! I stayed within my calorie range and then some. Go Coach!! Keep up the wonderful job with your blogs. They mean a lot to your fellow sparkers!!

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DIANNEMT 9/19/2013 12:10PM

    Yep--we need to treat ourselves like we treat our friends.

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BARBARAROSE54 9/19/2013 12:10PM

    emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 9/19/2013 11:42AM

    Thanks for sharing - really good advice!

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PATRICIAANN46 9/19/2013 11:35AM

  Great advice..........Too often we are our own worst enemy!!!!! emoticon

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SHOAPIE 9/19/2013 10:54AM

    emoticon

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NEPTUNE1939 9/19/2013 10:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 9/19/2013 10:08AM

    So true. emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS49 9/19/2013 9:52AM

    emoticon blog!!! emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 9/19/2013 9:00AM

    Your blog posts are so honest and real and well written.
Thanks for sharing your insight and your journey.

This reminder was good to have today. emoticon emoticon

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MIMIDOT 9/19/2013 8:50AM

    Great blog! Thanks for sharing. I needed it today. I went away and came home 3 pounds heavier. Tho, I know most of it is salt. I gain every time I eat out, and I ate out a lot this past week. I still felt I let myself down.

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ADDIEPER 9/19/2013 7:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SANDYCRANE 9/19/2013 7:20AM

    Great advice.

emoticon

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NEWTINK 9/19/2013 7:10AM

    Being kind to yourself is the hardest to learn but the most necessary to be a success . You are doing great !!!!

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WATERDIAMONDS 9/19/2013 6:52AM

    Great point of view and very encouraging. Thank you.

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PENOWOK 9/19/2013 6:37AM

    What can I say- you are so right!

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SHERYLP461 9/19/2013 6:26AM

    Yes, we must all learn to treat ourselves better and to know as the commercial says, "we are worth it!" Good reminder, thanks

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CARRIELYN56 9/19/2013 6:11AM

    Thank you! Good encouragement!

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NASFKAB 9/19/2013 5:37AM

  you are so right thanks

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JANUT57 9/19/2013 5:05AM

  Well said emoticon

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JBASKETT63 9/19/2013 5:01AM

    Great blog

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111BUTTERFLY111 9/19/2013 4:49AM

    emoticon and sooooo very true!!! Thanks so much for posting! You did a great job putting this together!

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RASPBERRY56 9/19/2013 4:35AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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