Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Last night, I was told by a guy I was falling for that he was getting back together with his ex. I told him how I felt about him, but he's still in love with her. I was devastated. We are still friends though, which is a first for me. Throughout today, I've been analyzing the situation as best I can. What I've come to realize is that I didn't necessarily feel the way I did because of him, but because I wanted someone to love me. He knows all of my secrets and problems and is still my good friend. I've faced a lot of rejection, from boyfriends to just friends, and I suppose I'm quick to try and jump into relationships. I need to work on myself before I can be with anyone else. I'm not happy with myself or the way I am. The only way I will be happy is if I put all of my extra effort into achieving my goals. I've achieved weight loss before, but have since gained it all back. I struggle with depression and borderline personality disorder. I can't let my disorders hold me back anymore. I need to do things in my life that will make me happy instead of tearing me down. Tomorrow is a new day.