Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Just saying "no" to anyone including myself is one of the hardest things for me to do in my life. I have been frustrated lately with my coworkers and cannot muster the guts to tell them my opinion or just how I feel in general so I often become the door mat. Always have been.
I hate confrontation and will be passive because it is the easiest way to cope. For example I was on a very full bus yesterday standing with my gym bag and work bag near the front because there was a spot for bags but when the drivers and passengers started getting pushy about " moving back" instead of explains the situation I just got off the bus and walked and waiting for the next bus. I was very angry
I will also take on whatever my boss or inlaws want me to do to make them happy. All this makes me very frustrated and creates anger which I complain about to my partner and binge eat for because it makes me feel better temporarily.
I Also cannot see to say no to myself. I think this is the only real explanation ,other then total addiction, that
I don't stop eating so much junk. I get frustrated with myself because I put a lot of effort into my workouts and planning healthy meals and really want to lose weight for my wedding next year but it is just so much easier to give in to the immediate pleasure of sugar binges.
This is something I really need to work on. I can't lose weight if I don't start wasting in my calorie range. I know I can do it since I have before. It is time to start saying " no more excuses results only results" to both exercise and diet.