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    STARRRY_EYED   1,034
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"I'm so glad you're not really thin!"

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Has anyone ever said this to you? A now dear friend of mine said this to me after meeting me for the first time (she is the wife of my boyfriend's best friend). At the time, I just sort of laughed it off, but I have been thinking about it more recently. I wondered, if I had met her a year before when I was 20 lbs lighter, what difference would that have made? My personality wouldn't be different and we'd still have the same things in common. I guess it's a comfort thing, but at the same time it would never occur to me to pick my friends by their size. Is there an implicit community of the overweight, no matter whether it's 30 lbs or 230?

I do believe that having friends with good habits, regardless of their weight or where they are in their health and fitness journeys, really encourages you to develop or maintain your own good habits. I know that when my main group of friends became a group of women that usually overate and/or ate the wrong kinds of food, I was definitely along for the ride, especially since many of our outings centered around eating together.

Do you have friends like this? The kind that you could call and say "I had a hard day, do I deserve McDonalds?" and they would respond with "Absolutely!" How did you change your relationships with them to not include the encouraging of bad habits? This particular friend of mine is very overweight (about 300 lbs at 5'3) and about to have a baby. I definitely don't want her to think I am a friend to reach out to to validate bad health choices (nor do I want to lean or her for that kind of support myself). I'd love to be the person she reaches out to for help with her own good choices and who can help me with mine.

How do we love and support each other, without condoning the negative or dangerous habits? How do we break bad habits in otherwise good friendships?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DS9KIE 10/8/2013 2:24AM

    That has got to be the craziest thing to say to someone.

Pick restaurants that have something healthy to eat (which can be hard sometimes)

Go shopping, take a walk, play tennis, watch a movie...well that is all I can think of.

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CLOSETLIBRARIAN 9/17/2013 4:18PM

    Make swaps. If someone calls and says "I had a bad day, do I deserve some ice cream?" say, "Hey let's go get a pedicure together instead." or "Come over, I'll fix you some tea and you can talk about it." It works for me :)

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