Tuesday, September 17, 2013
I am so angry right now I could just scream!!! But I can't because it's 6:00 a.m. and I don't want to wake the neighbors who would likely call the cops who would likely have me committed to a mental institution who would likely petition for guardianship and keep me on lock down for the rest of my life! Today I am grateful that I'm not going to scream, I'm not going to wake the neighbors, I'm not going to encounter the police or end up in a psych ward!
I am, however, going to tell you that the cause of my anger is my mother-in-law. We had a falling out over a year ago and two weeks ago, I did what I felt was the "right" thing to do. I sent an apology via e-mail. It wasn't just an "I'm Sorry". No, no, it was a heart-felt, loving, kind, me taking responsibility for my part in it all, respectful letter! This morning? Two weeks later? I get this, "You're email requires much thought on my part and I'm busy having fun with my family - no time for thinking!" reply. Seriously? My apology requires "much thinking"? I'm done! I'm done, done, done! And full of regret for ever reaching out in the first place! That woman drives me mad!!!!!
I cannot allow this emotional upset to ruin my day. I can't! I won't! I won't give her the satisfaction! The first thing I thought of after reading her e-mail was to come here. To a place where genuine love, support and acceptance lives. To my spark friends. Trust me when I tell you, it's the best decision I've made this morning and will be the best decision I'll make all day.
At all costs, I need to avoid negativity. I just can't have it in my life. It makes me crazy - literally. I am a reactionary and often times the way I react "in the moment", causes me great regret later on. So I just gotta kick it to the curb! And if the negativity is coming from an individual? Relative or not, they gotta go! This is MY life, right? I get to decide who is and who is not a part of it. Right?
Where my focus should be today and should have been all along is on all the wonderful comments, suggestions and ideas I received from all of you to my last blog. I read them all. . . twice! Thank you all so very much for taking the time to not only read my blog, but to offer such genuine support and concern. I need you all like I need oxygen! And I just don't know where I'd be without you. Somehow I survived before SparkPeople. . . but now that I have found you? Yeah, I know I couldn't live without you. Wouldn't even want to.
Thank you for being there. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for always being honest with me. Oh, and thank you for letting me rant. . . just a little. But most of all. . . thank you for your love. This community thrives because it's full of all the good stuff - mostly love.
Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I wish you peace and happiness and lots and lots of love.