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Monday, September 16, 2013

having a conversation with myself.
I am trying, do not discount my effort, is only perfection acceptable.
is every small thing not enough. never being good enough, so everything I attempt to do will be measured by not being good enough, you will fail or you just do not try hard enough.
you just do not try hard enough is a saying I am all to familiar with.

I am angry with the voice that is never pleased

words do not come out straight when you are angry.
I have been told I do not try hard enough all my life so I guess I have internalized this hateful message.
and anything less than perfect is failure. I unfortunately I believe anything less than perfection is failure

I am not angry I am just getting a thought out of my head and onto paper (blog is this case)

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FITMARY 9/17/2013 8:08AM

    Perfectionism is a disease!!! But it can be cured. I am a recovering perfectionist and much happier for it. Now sometimes I remind myself to try real hard to do a "bad" job.
; ) That's all some things deserve! And then I have more time, energy, and interest for the things I do enjoy and need to concentrate on. As for exercise, some is DEFINITELY good enough! My mantra for exercise was "Just 10 Minutes." That was all I "have" to do. Naturally some days I do much more but I only "have" to do "Just 10 Minutes." Guess what? It has helped!
Good luck to you. Every day is a new start!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/17/2013 8:09:31 AM

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ANGORA4 9/16/2013 9:40PM

    Isn't grace wonderful? It is the journey that is the important part, not the perfection of the moment, but the journey hand in hand towards better health. Would we put down a kindergartner that can't do advanced physics, chemistry, or calculus? Of course not! Do we expect that kindergartner to write their letters perfectly and have all the math facts memorized perfectly? Of course not. We revel in the process, as they slowly but steadily master each step, one at a time. Once they can write their letters legibly, they are ready to string them together into short words, then sentences. We add punctuation, adjectives, longer words, but slowly, over time, so it isn't overwhelming.

We don't expect a new musician to perform an opera. They painstakingly practice, day by day, slowly mastering one skill at a time. At first, the noise is horrendous. Slowly, the sounds clear, begin to follow a rhythm. As the years go by, the mistakes are fewer (although still there, even in a professional's performance). They master harder and more complicated tasks, until the sound is pleasing. It takes time.

Why then, do we expect the journey to better health to be a one-shot and perfect deal? Isn't this more like training? We practice a skill until it becomes easier for us, then add another dimension, another skill, and work on that. The important part is the practicing, the journey to better health. It isn't something we just suddenly do perfectly, it's something we practice to improve, like a golfer practicing his tee shot or a bowler their approach. They do it over and over and over again, trying to isolate the parts not working as well as they could, and improve them. It may take much trial and error to work out the difficulties, and much strengthening and exercise to enable the change to occur. It takes time.

When my son was little, he said he wanted a reading machine, so he wouldn't have to learn to read. He wanted to just be able to do it all right away, no learning, no practice. We often do the same thing, wanting to arrive at the final result right away, no practice, no learning curve. It's human, it's normal, but it rarely works that way.

So, don't get down on yourself, we're all in the same boat. I'm glad you've joined us on this journey, the company makes it easier to keep on track, keep the eye on the goal, and enjoy the journey.

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CMOMMYFLY 9/16/2013 8:37PM

    I think you know the answers to all those questions, or you wouldn't have chosen the Spark name you did. Grace is God's perfect compassion, freely lavished on his imperfect children. perfect. But we don't have to be. We can do our best...or at least do our best TO do our best!...and keep growing. But if God, all-the-way perfect God, chooses to give you grace for all your faults, you can feel free to give yourself grace as well. Grace is awesome. Grace is beautiful. God loves you more than you can possibly know! It's hard to feel it when so many voices are telling you otherwise.

(I know that's a lot of "the G word" coming from a stranger. But I'm going to take the risk that it won't offend you.)

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 9/16/2013 8:28PM

    Remember the only true perfection is God and he accepts you for who you are and does not expect you to be perfect!! He knows you'll make mistakes, he just wants you to learn from them!

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