Monday, September 16, 2013
I joined the Stress Busting Challenge and we are suppose to blog or journal about our stresses and how we handled them...etc
Well...I live with my major stressor...my man! LOL I wake up and find stuff on the floor all over the house...he just leaves things lie and doesn't pick stuff up. SOOO I am immediately ticked off. Knowing I have back issues and have been in bed for 4 days you'd think he'd pick stuff up...NOPE...wanna know why?
Heart Doctor appointment today for my man...couldn't find parking...I dropped him off and then parked a long ways away...I miss America at times like this...and then I thought "well I need to get my own walking in today with my new instructions from the Physio...so I changed my attitude, looked at the pretty cherry blossom trees and thought about my calorie burn and the nice day and walked to the hospital.
he has his own problems...he thinks he'll be dead soon...that's what he thinks...because he didn't take care of his diabetes and now has problems with his eyes, legs, heart, kidneys, etc. He is like an old man in a 42 year old body...and he is finally scared and thinks he won't live until he's 50. So it's like he's given up...ON EVERYTHING...which stresses me out. I don't get that mentality at all. I won't go down without a fight! He cried in the waiting room.
We saw his heart doctor today and once again...he said everything I have said...and he asked my man "how's the walking?" - His answer "my feet hurt" - damage from diabetes again...and the doctor said...well...you're gonna have to walk through the pain...EVERYDAY...6 DAYS A WEEK! You need to say no to dessert (I laughed...I hope he doesn't use those words on women patients...he'll send them straight to a coffee shop) and you have to just drop some weight and work through the pain! He was told all his numbers are better...even his kidney stuff that we are currently stressing about are better than they have been. His blood pressure and fluid retention is all that needs tweeking and that it's walking and diet...so here we are again...I always feel so vindicated when I go to the doctors and they say the same EXACT stuff I tell him. Maybe one day he won't be so stubborn!
I gave him my fitbit a year ago...never used it...maybe now? who knows.
This is my stress. A couple months ago, I actually said, if you have given up, I am not staying with you. I moved to this country for him to have a LIFE with him...not to be a nurse or caretaker because you won't change your habits! He has a 13 year old daughter as well. I know I care and I know EXACTLY what he should eat and I can pack his food, but he doesn't learn anything and why should I have to do that? Some may say I'm terrible, but I say this is what killed my grandma...caring for my grandpa who refused to change his ways and was a mean angry sick man...I WILL NOT LIVE like that! And certainly NOT die like that! I am 41 but most people think I am in my 30's! I act 13 and I choose NOT to have kids for a reason. I'm the one who wants to jump off the skytower, go whitewater rafting, swim with dolphins, travel...etc. Not sit and have coffee and talk! YUCK!
So...I overcame situations today by ENJOYING the walk and changing my mindset. Didn't snap at the mess all over the house because he hasn't been himself and is scared. I just breathed and took a minute to regroup. Made him lunch and hugged my cat! LOL
Some days that is the BEST medicine for stress...my 3 cats and my dog! :)
Really didn't enjoy writing this blog...sounds like whining and bitc#ing...yuck....hmmm may rethink this stress blogging...why relive it and get all worked up again?!?!?!