Monday, September 16, 2013
Another blog was adressing the subject of weight loss as a perspective when you dislike your body and it would never be a good premiss.
For the moment I donīt see my body as something I like or dilike I have pros and cons with it, the overweight mostly being not a good thing as it is threatening to my health and makes it uncomfortable to do stuff.
But my perspective for the moment is tha it is the environment that is making me fat. I live in a time with milk and honey floating all over the place and the mind set of society is also that it is a good thing and should be celebrated.
There is food everywhere and I get offered things to eat several times a day. It takes awareness and an active decision to stay away.
I donīt think I had the "genes" to become an alcoholic - I canīt recognise myself in the experiences from others that say that the moment they took their first drink, they knew that it was the solutions to all their problems. To me it was comfortable lifestyle - everybody else was drinking and as I do have issues with obsession and as I do have pains and experiences I think I can not handle, I was alcoholic enough to get problems with staying away when it was too available.
After eight years of sobriety I can expose myself to alcohol situations without having to make a big effort to stay away. But I do get exposed to alcohol one - two times a week in everyday situations. Today I am going to Stockholm where I will give a lecture tomorrow. I will stay at the hotel where the conference is and am invited to dinner tonight. There will be wine and it is monday, the conference is work for everybody and not for celebration. It is just what you do today.
Food is the same thing - hardly a day gets by when I donīt get offered coffee with something to eat - danish, cookies, chocolate. It takes a concious effort to stay away.
200 years ago this would not have been a problem I would have been working hard all day and happy to get any food at all.
Of course I have the nature of being very vulnerable to things to obsess with, I use it as a tool to distract myself from anxiety and restlessness. That is what I am working on to change.
But I also think that to me it is important to recognise that I live in a hostile environment to succeed with food I have to remember that there are storng powers out there who wants me to give in... well, not precisely me, I am not paranoid about this, "they" want me and everybody else to buy their food.