Monday, September 16, 2013
I was doing some grocery shopping tonight and was walking through the frozen food section. Blue Bunny Peanut Butter Panic ice cream used to be my favorite. For a split second, I thought, "You can have some ice cream, it won't hurt just this once." That voice in my head lies because I know that if I bought that carton, it wouldn't be just once.
Then I spied some things that Old Christina would have loved. My first thought was "that stuff is gross, I don't eat that stuff." Good, right? But my very next thought was "Remember when you were free to eat all that stuff?"
Fortunately, it only took about a second to realize that when I ate that crap, I wasn't free AT ALL. I was a prisoner to food cravings. I was a prisoner to emotional eating. My size held me hostage and kept me from shopping in stores I liked. I didn't feel free to participate in many activities because I was so out of shape, or because I was afraid I would be the only fat person there.
FREEDOM is the pavement under my feet and the breeze in my hair when I'm running.
FREEDOM is the lack of fear in my life.
FREEDOM is the ability to say NO to food that doesn't make me healthier and stronger.
I spent enough time in Food Prison. I paid my debts and I am DONE.
I am free.