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Sick With Worry

Monday, September 16, 2013

My 19 year old baby just told me she's engaged. The wedding is in 5 months. I fear I didn't handle it very well. The first conversation went better than the second, mostly because I was still reeling. Why, why, why? Obviously, I want the best for my kids. I never want to say "I told you so." Is it so unreasonable for me to want her to see my point of view? I don't want her to become another statistic.

All the aforementioned questions are rhetorical, of course. I comfort myself in knowing that a lot can happen in 5 months. I just wish it was going to be a little longer.

On the fitness front, I streaked through Day 2 with 20 pushups, 20 squats, 20 situps, and a 5 mile walking dvd. Yay me.

I had an egg white veggie omelette and hashbrowns at Denny's for breakfast and a romaine salad with grilled chicken for dinner, with a 1/4 cup peppita seeds and a sharp cheddar stick for snacks. Tomorrow, I'll make sure I spread the calories out throughout the day and work in more veggies.

Sleep well, my Spark friends. Tomorrow is a new day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • UNICORN212
    Keep the lines of communication open and let her know you are there for her - no matter what. This could be a bad thing, in which case she will need you, or it could be a good one, in which case you do not want to injure any relationships. He may be the love of her life and created just for her. Only they can know the intricacies of their relationship. You can only pray that they make the right choices.

    And like Pookasluagh, I also married young - I was just short of 19, and he was just short of 20. We had some rocky times and even divorced and remarried years later. He is still the love of my life - and we are 53 and 55 now.
    1648 days ago
    I would encourage them to do premarital counseling and be reading books that can help them determine that they have all the core things in common. I highly suggest Neil Clark Warrens book...Finding the Love of Your Life. It taught me a lot about dating, and how important having the core values in common was. He also talks a lot about how important it is to wait to get married for at least a year if not two. But there are lots of other authors as well. I was 19 and am now a statistic, and I had no support. So the best thing you can do is try to get to know him and find out what he believes in. Also, most people don't begin to know who they are until they are 25, so if you are seeing huge differences between them, you will have to find a tactful way to bring it up to them. You definitely don't want your grandchildren enduring the pain of divorce.
    1648 days ago
    If it helps any, I was 20 and my husband was 19 when we met, got engaged, and got married, all in about six months' time. We still have a very strong marriage 14 years later. No one was terribly supportive of us marrying in the beginning, either, particularly because things happened so fast. But it did work out for us, in the end. Like FITRIT said, maybe there are other misgivings besides her age?
    1648 days ago
    Aside from her age what other misgivings do you have about her engagement?
    1649 days ago
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