Let's see... where to begin.
In ...May, was it?...the state of New York determined that, because I failed twice to renew my auto insurance on time (for some reason, right after my husband died, "remember to insure the car" just wasn't on the top of my To Do list...and they eventually caught up with me for this grievous infraction), I would no longer be allowed to drive anything registered to me for 90 days.
I could legally drive anything from a unicycle to a tractor trailer, as long as it wasn't mine. They were tossing around words like "arraignment" and "felony", though, and naturally I got in yet more trouble when, after I pointed out that I hadn't even driven the !@#$ car at that time, they said, "Well, you could have." Any sane person would have kept silent, but I, of course, had to pipe right up and say, "Well, I *could* have robbed a bank, too, but I didn't do that either." This is, as my attorney advised me, not a way to engender sympathy on the court room, and he made me swear to say only the things he told me to say, and word for word. (Oh, I'd also pointed out that maybe their time would be better served chasing actual criminals than picking on penniless, forgetful widows...apparently another poor choice on my part.)
Somehow I escaped a massive fine, felony conviction, probation and general Not Good Person status, I think because my attorney played on the same soft-ball team as the judge. After all that bench warrant/felony/arraignment talk, all I got was a $50 fine and $35 court cost charge. Such is justice in our fair land.
The net result of this was that I did a lot of walking (lost no weight, though) and couldn't keep up with the landscaping job. I never was officially fired, but since the job ended officially...wow, today!...anyway, I worked 40+ hours in four days' time for a special end-of-season shindig and left on good terms. I may be doing some other work for them soon - as a state funded facility, you never can count on much or find out ahead of time what the plans are anyway.
So, left to my own devices, with the nearest grocery a 20 mile round trip hike, I discovered that Amazon will deliver food - human and pet - to your door, so that's pretty much how I survived. I developed a taste for some pretty odd and exotic things and I now brew my own kombucha and both milk and water kefirs. Fresh fruits and veggies were in short supply, since I didn't plant my own garden this year, but I learned a lot about Euell Gibbons-type food.
You know how tv always tells you about skinny kids who go to prison, where they have nothing to do but exercise and do push-ups in their cells, and they come out all buff and gorgeous? Yeah, well, that didn't happen to me. Despite having all the time in the world to exercise and do healthy things, I still managed to gain an unknown amount of weight - I figure 10ish pounds. I still wear the same clothing, but now they're tight instead of loose. Not good. SO not good.
On the Good side, though, a dear friend who makes what I consider to be a boat load of money (a small boat, perhaps, to the Gainfully Employed among us) as an e-book writer, convinced me that I ought to sit down and write some of these !@#$ books I've been yammering about for years. So I'm doing just that.
Just in time for Halloween, we have:
(There's a Kindle version over on amazon)
And there are more on the way. I had to take a break of a couple days after my Amish neighbor's barn blew down in a tornado (!) the other day, but I'm writing full time otherwise. Now I eat even more and move even less, so I'm lugging my ever-expanding bum back to SP while there's still time.
Don't even bother to tell me to start today, because I won't. But I will start tomorrow. My new life consists of driving Amish kids to school
(I'll tell you about that another time), eating right
So what all have I missed during my long absence?