Saturday, September 14, 2013
Today, I'm on "post day 2" of chemo. I'm not sure if it's the chemo, or I'm just having a low energy day, but whatever it is.....I haven't wanted to do much more than doze in glorious fall fresh air we have been having today.
Last night, I had a total meltdown right around bedtime. I just started sobbing uncontrollably for at least a half an hour. I can't remember ever crying so long or so hard in my life.
Jim was the best. He didn't try to talk me out of my feelings or try to get me to stop crying. He just held me and let me sob it out. I was spent when it was over, and I still feel pretty spent today, but I'm feeling so much better and at a lot more peace.
I'm very grateful that Jim just listened and held me. That was all I needed... to be held and to be heard.
Sometimes, that's all a body needs. No advice, no cheering up, just holding and listening.
I'm not Jewish, but I'm just guessing that what makes the tradition of sitting shiva so powerful.
Here's a quote from Wikipedia about the power of sitting shiva.
"It is a great mitzvah (literally "commandment" but often interpreted as "good deed") of kindness and compassion to visit (make or pay a shiva call) to the mourners, a practice known as Nichum Aveilim. Traditionally, no greetings are exchanged and visitors wait for the mourners to initiate conversation, or remain silent if the mourners do not do so, out of respect for their bereavement. "
Sometimes, just being there is the best thing you can do for someone you care for.
I felt that way last night. In the midst of my pain, I was soothed by the thing I needed most.