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I think I'm married to the best man in the world!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Today, I'm on "post day 2" of chemo. I'm not sure if it's the chemo, or I'm just having a low energy day, but whatever it is.....I haven't wanted to do much more than doze in glorious fall fresh air we have been having today.

Last night, I had a total meltdown right around bedtime. I just started sobbing uncontrollably for at least a half an hour. I can't remember ever crying so long or so hard in my life.

Jim was the best. He didn't try to talk me out of my feelings or try to get me to stop crying. He just held me and let me sob it out. I was spent when it was over, and I still feel pretty spent today, but I'm feeling so much better and at a lot more peace.

I'm very grateful that Jim just listened and held me. That was all I needed... to be held and to be heard.

Sometimes, that's all a body needs. No advice, no cheering up, just holding and listening.

I'm not Jewish, but I'm just guessing that what makes the tradition of sitting shiva so powerful.


Here's a quote from Wikipedia about the power of sitting shiva.

"It is a great mitzvah (literally "commandment" but often interpreted as "good deed") of kindness and compassion to visit (make or pay a shiva call) to the mourners, a practice known as Nichum Aveilim. Traditionally, no greetings are exchanged and visitors wait for the mourners to initiate conversation, or remain silent if the mourners do not do so, out of respect for their bereavement. "

Sometimes, just being there is the best thing you can do for someone you care for.

I felt that way last night. In the midst of my pain, I was soothed by the thing I needed most.

Love.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISPARKLE77 9/22/2013 4:24PM

    You are very lucky to have a supportive husband. My husband was there for me whenever I needed him when I had my cancer. You are right, it feels good knowing you have someone there for you who really cares. I think having a good cry is probably good for the soul.
I lost my hair twice when I had my cancer and I do believe for me that was the hardest part. I am happy you have prepared yourself by buying a wig and some scarves.
I made it through this difficult time in my life with the help of my heavenly father. He is there for you if you so desire to have him join you during this difficult and trying time in your life.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care my friend,
Pam emoticon

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OWL_20 9/19/2013 6:50PM

    Yay for hubs! I've heard it said from more than one patient (I'm an RN), that cancer *may* be harder on the loved one than the patient. Sometimes, I think that's true. I'm so glad that if you have to go thru this that you have someone like your husband to with you.

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DRUIDPRINCESS 9/16/2013 7:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATHYGETSFIT 9/16/2013 2:57AM

    Aw, it sounds like you truly do have a great husband. I'm glad you have someone that is there for you and seems to know what you need when you need it. Sometimes a good cry is what we need to get rid of the bad juju so to speak. emoticon I'm glad it felt good to let go. I hope you will be feeling better soon! emoticon

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WILDKAT781 9/15/2013 1:58PM

    emoticon

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LIVE2RUN4LIFE 9/14/2013 11:43PM

    emoticon

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COOKWITHME65 9/14/2013 11:22PM

    Such a beautiful blog. Thankyou for sharing such an intimate moment of your marriage with us. You are truly both blessed to have each other and it is so nice to hear that he can comfort you in your time of need without even saying a word. Wishing you both a wonderful Sunday together.

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COLUMBINE2 9/14/2013 10:37PM

    Yep, you've got a great guy! And guess what? He's got a terrific gal!

Thanks for great blog! Every time you blog, I gain valuable insight & I really can't thank you enough! You're one very s-h-a-r-p cookie and I'm thrilled to have you in my life!

Consider yourself hugged on the hour...every hour...by me! I'll be thinking of you at the top of the hour with warm affection, prayers and gratitude for your medical team and the increased success we're seeing daily in fighting cancer. One of these days I'll send you an email about my mom's amazing life ... after she was diagnosed with cancer!

Big hug comin' ....brace yourself so I don't knock you over!
emoticon


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GARDENCHRIS 9/14/2013 10:03PM

    that is a special guy... you are blessed.

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CINDHOLM 9/14/2013 9:57PM

    emoticon

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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/14/2013 9:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FLORIDASUN 9/14/2013 8:31PM

    I'm so happy that you have your rock..as I have mine we have something so valuable that all the gold in emoticon emoticon the world would not compare. You are so right love is all there is...all there ever was...and as far as I'm concerned...all there ever will be.

Crying clears out toxins from the body so know your bodies beautiful wisdom in clearing out the rubbish!

Hugs to you my dear friend!

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CELLOPLAYER1 9/14/2013 8:25PM

    emoticon

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DARLENEK04 9/14/2013 8:22PM

  He is a blessing.....and a great support system....

Blessings,
Dar
leneK

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HOLLYM48 9/14/2013 7:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PINKNFITCARLA 9/14/2013 7:06PM

  What a great hubby you have to be there for you. Glad you had him and glad you got a good cry in and feel better. Sometimes we just need that! emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 9/14/2013 6:34PM

    So kind, my hubby has said OH come here, when I start crying or he will come to me. HUGS and glad you found solace in the tears.

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CBLENS 9/14/2013 5:29PM

    So glad you have Jim to be there for you. emoticon

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JESSIG5 9/14/2013 5:13PM

    It is great that the two of you have each other.

Thanks for the goodie.

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VONBLACKBIRD 9/14/2013 5:08PM

    Praying for you and be sure to hug your DH more and more...You are blest!!

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LOPEYP 9/14/2013 4:43PM

    I agree! emoticon

Mine is great too! emoticon

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HAPPYMOM8 9/14/2013 4:24PM

    I AGREE- YOU DO HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD-AND I THOUGHT MINE WAS THE ONLY ONE.

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SUNNYWBL 9/14/2013 4:23PM

    He is indeed a pearl of great price.

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MOM2ACAT 9/14/2013 4:14PM

    emoticon Sometimes a good cry is exactly what we need.
And sometimes we just need someone to listen and just let us cry, and not try to talk to us into feeling better. I am glad you have that with your husband.

As for the low energy, I know with the chemo I have been on (and the kind I am on now), the blood counts can be at their lowest at 4-10 days after a treatment before they start going back up again, so you might be feeling a drop in the hemoglobin level.

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ZELLAZM 9/14/2013 4:03PM

    You are truly blessed to have such a special person at your side to walk through this with you. I've heard this called "the ministry of presence" - as you called it, just being there for someone. Hugs!

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