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The Win Win Fail Win Win Waltz

Friday, September 13, 2013

Win #1
Woke up with no pain in my back. I don't know if it was the Icy Hot patch, the ibuprofen, or just a miracle, but whatever it was, the pain is entirely gone now. It was the strangest thing. That is probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. And that's not hyperbole. It was bad. And then it disappeared as quickly as it came. I think dh was more traumatized than I was. He ran over to the store and got an Icy Hot patch for me, and helped me roll onto my side so he could put it on. After that he just sat on the edge of the futon and held my hand for half an hour. I figured the Icy Hot patch and the pill had time enough to help by then, so I decided to try once more to stand up. {I really needed to pee!} That time, once I got upright, there was no more pain. So... anyone else's guess is as good as mine as to what happened. But whatever it was, Woo hoo for no pain this morning!

Win #2
Exercise! Dh and I went to the park for a picnic again today. It was cool and there was no sun to hide from, so we sat at the table next to the lake and watched the ducks. A little old lady came up behind us and came to our table and gave us homemade cookies. She was so sweet. And, clearly, a cookie given to you by a little old lady in a park has no calories. So I ate it, and it was tasty!

Then we got up and started to walk the trail. I was a little concerned about my back, but I figured I'd take it easy, and if I started to feel pain, we'd turn and come back. I was still a little uneasy about it because it came on so fast and so bad yesterday, but I also knew sitting on my ass out of fear of it happening again wasn't going to get me anywhere. My goal had been to walk 10 mins and turn, but when we hit 10 mins, I was still feeling okay, so we pushed for 2 more. With that, and the walk back and across the parking lot to the car, we walked 25 minutes. I was pretty pleased with myself for that one!

Only Fail
I can sum it up in one word: Chinese. I know you guys know what I'm talking about. That damn buffet! I won't even pretend I was well behaved. I was not. I ate a lot, and it was all crap. Other than a few pieces of broccoli. But that brings us to...

Win #3
Quitting when I was full! Most of the time I end up so stuffed I feel like I need to be rolled out of there in a wheel barrow. This time I ate what I wanted, but when I was full, I stopped. I managed to pound the logic through my brain that there was nothing to be gained by eating until I was sick.

Win #4
Not treating the rest of the day as if it's a lost cause and stuffing my face all night. I haven't eaten anything since we left the Chinese place, cause I don't need to. I'm not truly hungry, and if I ate, it would be because it feels good and not because I need to eat. So I'm finishing out the rest of the night as if the Chinese incident never happened.

That accounts for today. Now, for yesterday that I never got to blog about...

So, the pharmacist I had an appointment with yesterday was also a Certified Diabetes Educator. That's why my doctor wanted me to see her. I was so happy when she told me she's a CDE. I've been trying for years now to locate a CDE to have an appointment with, and my insurance website told me there were none in my area. I guess she didn't show up because she's not an independent, but works in an office for the doctors there.

I spent over an hour with her, going over every thing imaginable. She adjusted my calorie range a little. The bottom of my calorie range according to SP was 1609, and her calorie range was 1550-1650, so it wasn't too much of a decrease. She did all sorts of math to come to that calorie number. Also, she said I should weigh 125 lbs... but she would give me an extra 10%... so 137 lbs. Righty-o. She seemed to realize that was like asking me to move the Himalayas a stone at a time, though.

I was pretty disappointed to see that my weight had gone up 2 lbs since I have been trying to lose weight again, but it is what it is I guess. The impression I got from the CDE is that it will be very difficult for me to lose weight, but not impossible. In other words... I have to keep at it, even though it will make me want to run around in circles and scream. I just have to keep myself pointed homeward and remind myself that the important thing is getting healthy. I have a lot of big numbers that need to be a lot smaller.

She also made me feel more motivated about getting in movement, by saying a very simply obvious thing. Any time I can get in movement, do so. For example, my friend is coming over to walk with me tomorrow. I tend to take the attitude of "Well, we can't walk together every day/week, so why bother?", but her simple statement makes me see how ridiculous that logic is. So rather than trying to make big plans of exercising like an Iron Man... I'm just going to worry about getting in "movement when I can". That sounds a lot easier.

And, to that end, I'm walking with The Buddy on Sunday. I'm super excited to get to catch up with her. I can't seem to get myself waking up early enough to be at the park at 7 during the week... but Sunday at 9:45 works quite well for me. And it's supposed to be a lovely day. {Maybe even cool enough in the morning to wear a hoodie. I love hoodies!}

Wow, okay... Long. Ass. Entry. I'll shut up now.

Hope everyone is having a great Friday evening!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Even your "fail" resulted in a positive end so I wouldn't even count that as a fail emoticon . You have a whole team in your corner now rooting for you. You can do this! Try not to focus on the big number of total weight loss. If I did that I'd set myself up for disaster. Just do it one step at a time. My goal weight is still considered in the overweight range but its something I know I can get to and still be healthy. My goal weight is at 145 and I'm 5'5. The last time I was 145 I was in 3rd grade!!!!. In high school I was 170 and I had boobs at the time. Yeah 20 pound boobs sounds about right....ahem...anyways....Just take baby steps, you'll get there. emoticon
    1619 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Great job on stopping when you were full! That is not always easy to do as the food does taste so good.
    I am glad you found someone that knows about diabetes.
    Remember to take one day at a time, you cant move the Himalayas in one day or one month or even one year. Each day is the day to move whatever you can! Including your body. Dance around, go for short walks, do whatever it takes.
    You can do this, just keep telling yourself that you can. With determination, you will do it!
    Glad to hear your back is feeling better.

    1619 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    You just changed my day with the statement:"I managed to pound he logic through my brain that there was nothing to be gained by eating until I was sick.

    Thank you.

    BTW: That dear hubster of yours is wonderful. Hug him for me, wouldja? What a man for holding your hand and being so caring.. He's a keeper!
    1619 days ago
    I'm glad the back pain didn't last long. I know what it's like for my back to hurt and know how hard it can be. Can't give you any guesses as to what it was - that's really strange.

    Sounds like you had a wonderful day at the park. I need one of those!
    1619 days ago
    A lot mor wins the fails ~ good day for you. Great news that the terible back pain went away quickly!
    1620 days ago
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