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    CLEARNIGHTSKY   22,199
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One Choice at a Time

Friday, September 13, 2013

I'm struggling with emotions this week. I let my emotions get in the way of working out and eating well.

Right this moment I'm on track mentally. Can't say if that'll be the case by the end of this blog post.

My experience is that I get down during winter. I already battle depression. I'm more compelled to hide out in my warm bed when it's not bedtime in the winter. (Emotions: fear. Thoughts: Expectation of defeat, which is foretelling the future, which is "magical thinking.")

Also, I'm going through a process of pulling away from my nuclear family since there are a lot of dynamics there that are hindering my growth in a huge way. My pulling away has left me feeling isolated and scared. I do attend support groups where there are helpful, kind people. (Emotions: fear, loneliness, anger)

Next, I need a new job. We'll be getting a new top boss in the spring of 2015, and neither of the candidates is going to be good for me. In fact, both will contribute to a negative working atmosphere. (Emotions: fear and excitement and overwhelmedness. Thoughts: Expectation of failure, which is, again, foretelling the future, which is again, "magical thinking.")

What I would love would be for me to exercise and eat healthily just like I brush my teeth and floss every night. I brush and floss regardless of any emotional difficulties I may be facing; this dental hygeine is non-negotiable. I would like to have my eating and exercise self care to be just as divorced from emotion as brushing and flossing are.

I can do this. One choice at a time.

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SAABSTORY 9/17/2013 11:11AM

    That last line is what it comes down to. We do this one choice at a time. And as with anything our choice may not be the correct one. But we also have to give ourselves room for error. One thing and one reason I think I am doing as well as I am is that I finally told myself that a bad choice at breakfast is okay, I just can't use that bad choice as an excuse for the rest of the day's bad choices. I will fall down. What matters is how I react when I do. I feel you on the depression. I am prone to it as well, but the exercise helps tremendously with that.


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MADEIT3 9/15/2013 8:38AM

    Good analogy - brushing teeth and taking care of yourself in other ways. Nutrition, exercise, enough sleep, relaxation - all those things will help you stay healthy!! But it's also so easy to let events and situations get in the way of doing these things. Sort of strange, but I know for me, I tend to think of soothing myself in terms of doing things that are bad for me - like eating brownies and shopping too much.

I read a book that helped me figure this out differently and even though it's an old book (well, I'm an old person) it may also be helpful to you. It's by Albert Ellis and is called "A New Guide to Rational Living." Don't let that fact that it's probably 40 years old deter you. He gives a method for disputing thoughts like "my boss is stupid so I'll eat this donut."

Hope events and situations turn out for the best for you!

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