Wow Sept 13th already. Friday the 13th! Oooooo! I wouldn't mind seeing a black cat though, because they are adorable :)
Sometimes it seems like I am stuck or dragging my feet even when I am moving forward on paper. I have a lot of goals right now. I am reaching some of them, but I don't feel like I accomplished anything after I get there. I don't want to keep adding more goals, because I KNOW I Won't be able to complete all of them. But then again, I want to feel more satisfied. I am trying to learn to be happy with what I have! There are a few BIG goals I want in my personal life, and I think not achieving them may be causing me to hold back a little bit. The inner stress is causing me to not be 100% happy with my life! I know I just need to relax and let time take its crazy course, but that isn't easy! One day and Some day plans are nice to have, but not knowing when it will actually happen drives me a little crazy.
For most of you that don't know me that well - I made To Do Lists for my To Do Lists! I like to plan things, and I make sure they get done. When I cross things off any of my lists, I feel better. There are some things I would love to do now, but it just isn't possible! For example, I want to move out of my parent's house and get my own place. I have been researching, but it will still take a while before it actually happens. Even though I KNOW it won't be happening today, I still do not like the fact that it has been on my Overall To Do List for a long time now! I would like to change how I feel about having big things on my List, but I just don't know how to do it! Some days it doesn't bother me, but other days like today... I just feel funky & I don't know how to fix it!
I haven't given myself any rewards lately because I can't think of anything to give myself that doesn't cost money. Even though I could do food as a reward, I already know my limits and I do have "bad" foods randomly as long as my stomach can handle them. I tried giving myself time to relax, but usually I find something to do during that time anyways! So I am a little stuck about what to do as a reward. Will a reward even help me feel better about achieving my goals? It used to but, maybe it won't now...
Most days I am perfectly happy with how my life is now-a-days. I deal with my stressful situations without freaking out. There are many things I cannot control, and I try my best to handle it maturely! But some days like today... I am moping around a little. Nothing different happened to make me feel this way, but I do! I tried all of my normal pick-me-ups, but nothing helped yet!
I think I need to hold on tight to the crazy life train and hope for the best. Hopefully I can learn how to do this! I don't want to miss out on anything while feeling off! I don't want to get rid of my goals, but I also don't want to think they mean nothing!
Hopefully kickboxing will help put me back on the right track. Maybe I am just missing my exercise! I may not reach my 1500 fitness minutes goal this month, but I won't give up now just because I am behind. I see other Spark members getting 2,000 and 2,500 minutes already! 2500 minutes in 13 days comes out to be 192 minutes per day. I am glad they can do that much, but I just don't have the time to do that much without it interfering with my normal routine!
Sorry for the funky blog. Maybe some of you have some advice or suggestions on what I could do? Thanks for all of the support! I appreciate it :)