Wake-up Call...Hugs maybe needed...
Friday, September 13, 2013
I knew this semester was going to be a rough one, but I’ve always handled things before. This semester, as a PhD student, consists of me taking two classes and teaching four classes in addition to my PhD research. So far, despite my allergies going crazy on me, I was making it. Or so I thought…
I was overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I had to do yesterday. I had my own homework to take care of on top of doing the homework for the class I am teaching, which even though it’s general material it’s quite time consuming.
And as I got swept up in my work in my office, I didn’t realize that I didn’t show up to teach my second class on Thursday. Thankfully I’m just getting a warning…no pay cut or anything…but I was heartbroken. I always take pride in my integrity, and I let thirty students down.
After apologizing to my supervisor, I went to the bathroom and cried, making me ten minutes late for my class as a student. It was an honest mistake, and they know that (hence only a warning), but it’s extremely painful to know I did that.
I didn’t concentrate much on my class as a student that afternoon. I thought to myself about undergrad…when I lived with my parents. Sure, I didn’t always get along with them. But if I got overwhelmed, they were there to pick up the pieces. I live by myself. It’s just me. I don’t have family here. Something needed to change, but I couldn’t loosen my load. I don’t want to not exercise. I don’t want to not have a small half hour of down time in the evening.
So, I came to this solution…I decided to find a cleaning service. Unfortunately, the one I found is a little more expensive than I wanted to spend. I was hoping to do every other week, but instead I’m going to need to do monthly to be able to afford it. But it’ll give me some peace of mind and help me on my way to my career…and hopefully stop me from cracking.
I’m upset that I had to have a wake-up call, but I’m proud of myself I’m doing something about it. I’m not an irresponsible person. I just got overwhelmed and caught up in work that I let something get past me. It happens, but now I can make steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again.