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It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

Friday, September 13, 2013

Okay, there's no party... but I really do feel like crying. I stayed under my calorie goal for yesterday, so that was good. Then I ate in the middle of the night again. I woke up and weighed myself this morning and I am up 4 lbs since Monday. I know eating last night was not good, and weighing myself after doing it was not good, but 4 lbs?? Every day this week my weight has gone up. It's so frustrating.

When I got on the scale at the dr's office, I had gained 2 lbs since the last time a couple weeks ago. So that was pretty demoralizing. I said that to the CDE and she said taking more insulin will cause weight gain. I had read that in 492587294587 places, but hearing her say it made it feel really real. Now I feel like... who cares what I do, it isn't going to do any good. I'm not going to lose any weight. I know that's a bad attitude and certainly won't help anything, I'm just sad and frustrated.

My motivation is zilch right now, but I'm still going through the motions. Dh and I are going to the park for a picnic and a walk today. I'm not in the mood for doing anything but sitting here moping, but I will go anyway and hope that I enjoy it more when I get there.

Sorry this entry is so whiny. I'm just sad and feeling defeated. I'll shake this off and find a positive attitude soon.

Hope everyone is having a good Friday.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PICKIE98
    Cat, you asked about that Native American salve? It is called Minagin and is all natural, 23 herbs that the owner picks himself, pours the salve himself,etc. The website is

    When you read what the stuff does, believe it. I put a pea sized dab on my arthritis calcifications on my hands, they are so tender it hurts to touch hem, I cannot even wear gloves in winter until I use this stuff.. but after three applications a day, it does not hurt.
    The other salve is called Nojmuk. IT is for dermatitis, eczema, poison ivy,etc..DD uses it all over for her severe contact dermatitis and eczema.
    No animal testing, there are testimonies on the site. We have been using it for three years,,
    Nathan, the owner was taught the recipes from his elders in the tribe..
    I hope this answers our question.

    1624 days ago
  • JO88BAKO
    This was a hard day, but.... get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. It is a new beginning. Doesn't matter how many new beginnings you have, never ever give up. Keep trying. You can do it, I know you can!! What time do you go to bed? Yup, we are Parrot Heads here and in Iowa. The group here is much smaller. We do a lot of community service projects. It's a good way to give back and meet new people. Tomorrow morning we are getting up at 5 am and going fishing. I usually don't get up till around 8 so this is way out of my comfort zone.
    Please do get a good nights sleep and come back facing tomorrow with your positive attitude. You can lose weight.
    1625 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Don't give up Cat! One day at a time! Tomorrow will be a new day and I hope it will look much brighter! You are worth the effort that it takes to do this!
    Keep on fighting to find a healthier you!
    1625 days ago
    Can you shoot for not being insulin dependent?
    1625 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I like that pothole analogy!!
    Put a two week timer on that old is not who YOU are,it is a device.. you are not. I hope your back feels better today.. Maybe when you feel better you could lie down on the stability ball and stretch your back, that really DOES make your back feel better, I did it last week with my back.

    Drink the water, walk up and down your stairs, walk anywhere you can.. close the drapes and jump around in your PJ's , dance, whatever. leg lifts while sitting , little things add up.. not even really strenuous things..
    1625 days ago
    Remember that walking will help your mood. The scale can be crazy. If I eat salty foods the scale goes way up.
    1625 days ago
    I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. Whatever you do don't give up! Diabetes wreaks havic on the scale. I know, I've been struggling with a hybrid form of diabetes for 3 years now. I eat right and excersise but it doesn't come off very easily. I have to look for other things to motivate other than the numbers on the scale. The scale used to make me very very depressed and caused me to give up several times. I'd eat again thinking what's the point? And then I'd make myself sick. and start all over. its a horrible cycle. Hang in there! Don't give up! Don't let Diabetes beat you down. YOU CAN DO THIS!

    Non-scale Victory examples are: How my clothes fit, how I feel, My energy level. Try to celebrate a non-scale victory every day.
    1625 days ago
    1625 days ago
    It sucks to hear you're having a rough time, but I'm glad to know you're sticking with your program even though you don't want to - good for you!!

    If I may suggest something: unless your health care provider has asked that you weigh yourself each day - DON'T! Soooo many things can come into play when you weigh each day - water retention, menstrual cycles, what you ate, we you *didn't* eat, what time you ate, how you exercised, etc, etc. Watching the scale fluctuate on a daily basis can be really demoralizing, and might be part of what is brining you down. Commit to sticking with your program as best you can for a week, then weigh in, say, each Monday a.m. Make sure you weigh at the same time (I do it first thing in the morning, butt naked, right after I pee and before I hit the shower :) (sorry if that's TMI.)

    Also, starting now, take your measurements - hips, thighs, waist & bust and check them again in a month (not before!) Even if the scale isn't moving, that doesn't mean you aren't shrinking! Non-scale victories really are the best - staying within your calories, shrinking measurements, exercising consistently - whatever works for you.

    Have a great weekend!!
    1625 days ago
  • SAM_I_AM_2K
    I'm sorry to hear about your back... and your frustrations. We have ALL been there. There are days/weeks where you do EVERYTHING right and you gain... others where you do most things wrong and you lose. It is baffling. But you ARE doing the right things - stick with it and it WILL catch up.
    emoticon emoticon
    1625 days ago
    It is disheartening. I'm having all sorts of motivation troubles after putting some on this week, despite the fact that I ate my way to the gain.

    As far as your diabetes goes--if you can get half an hour of moderate exercise every day (even walking around on errands) and eat from the hypoglycemic index food list within your calorie range, then you will enjoy major health benefits.

    I am quite sure that you deserve to enjoy a healthy body with lots of energy.
    1625 days ago
    Hey, don't worry about it. You've simply hit a pothole and jarred yourself a little bit. This doesn't mean your entire journey is over with.

    You know that eating healthy and being active is the right thing to do for your health. So forget what the scale says right now. Maybe even put it away for a while. Track all your intake and get active, and put last night's eating circus behind you. The down times don't define you completely, they just help you realize where you are, what your triggers are, and help you determine your strength.

    So dust yourself off, know you have extra challenges due to your medication, and be good to yourself with your eating and activity. The pounds will come off eventually.
    1625 days ago
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