So on September 7th I finally had my 20 pound party, I'd actually only hit 19 from the beginning of June, but technically from when i first started on SP and took my start up photos I'm down 28 pounds. I was excited, I had planned and organized, cleaned the house, decorated, did a little prayer to the sun goddess to bring no rain, and made a lot of healthy food for everyone to have for supper.
The rain held off, 27 of my nearest and dearest came out, and the event was a success! Everyone had a blast, loved the food, and it felt nice, so warm and friendly. But I struggled. I can;t explain it, it made me think of a recent blog by MOVEITMARY in which she talks about how hard it is for people to accept and hear good news, how we always sympathize and seem to battle to outdo the next with bad news, but when its good news no one says a word. Anyway all day everyone was high fiving me, I mean it was my 20 pound weight lose party, it wasn't a secret what the party was for, people were congratulating me, telling me how awesome I was looking, keep up the great work etc.
But you know what words left my mouth, not a thank you, not I feel great (which I am) but oh I have so far to go yet, I am so not there yet, etc. WTF, why can;t I be proud of myself. Why did it bug me so much to celebrate myself?
And since then I have been struggling, I am trying to get back on track, but anytime I don;t have a set appointment to meet a friend at the gym and the alarm goes off, I have curled back in to a ball and slept that extra 45 mins to an hour. I only worked out 3 days this week instead of my usual 5. And this morning I turned off the alarm twice, only getting up a half hour later and managing 32 mins on the treadmill that took everything out of me versus my usual 45-50.
I am trying to think of ways to motivate myself, should i put something motivating above my bed for mornings, to help get my ass up, do I need to find a second work out partner so when the first one can;t make it someone is still waiting on me, should I do a progress photo to see the differences but also recognize how far I still have to go? I don't know all of the above i guess. And oh fighting the cravings, I so need help with that one, 2 chocolate bars while on the road this week! yikes.
And what is terrifying me more than anything is I have almost 3 weeks of vacation coming up, South Carolina for 5 days, where I'll be staying in a home with multiple executive chefs!! then on to a cruise through Italy and Greece. And right now I so need to loose a few more pounds to get in the clothes that are a little too tight, so I am comfortable and not wearing cloths that are to big and will create issues in hot weather. Maybe its this alone that has me self sabotaging?
Anyway that's my vent, i would love any ideas on how you all fight your cravings, stay motivated and keep pushing, cause I need all the help I can get right now!
Below a few photos from the fun filled party, cause it really was great even though I am whining right now! We also celebrated some friends bdays, I did fun little napkins, gave out silly little treat bags, had arm wrestling and a fire etc.