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    KHANSIS   53
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Day 4 - Lost that Lovin' Feeling

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I shouldn't feel this blah. I should be flying high on a hormonal upswing. The sun is out, not much on my to-do list, and I worked out yesterday even though I didn't want to. Yea for me for fighting off the slumps yesterday. Today, they are winning so far. I started with an uptick on my scale to 175, higher than when I started a few days ago. Realistically, it could be due to the salt in the chinese food takeout last night. And when I started this process to transition to a healthy lifestyle, I told myself it would be about creating a daily exercise habit, and I wouldn't stress food. But I am. Maybe to go from here means to weigh weekly (though daily has traditionally been by choice for a daily reality check.)

Hey, I just realized something... I said "traditionally". Could it be that the daily scale check is a step to recreating the lose gain cycle- using the scale scare tactic on myself and trying to eat less and not better? Quite a thought to ponder. What if this is about framing this journey to health not as eating less, but eating better. I "know" about "no bad choices, only better choices" but never thought about quantity vs quality quite like this. More to come on that later in the journey, I think.

I blew off the gym this morning, so tired. Like not eating enough, weight's up, want to sleep until dh gets home, tired. So here's my plan. Again. Pick one thing. Exercise Daily. What is the minimum? 30 minutes. Everything else is optional. I will go put on my gym clothes, go watch my daughter's game, drop off my friend after and go to the gym,. So what if its 8. If it is really a priority for me, I have time.

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