Thursday, September 12, 2013
What does going to the doctor about feeling blue have to do with gaining muscle and adding spark to my life?...
Need I even point it out?! I'm working on myself from the inside out here. And asking for help is something I have struggled with for years. We all need help sometimes. Some more than others. I have always survived on my own. But now I want to do more than survive. I want to THRIVE!
The doctor was nowhere near as terrifying as I felt it would be, but of course, I'm always petrified before things like this. The minute I walked into her office, I found myself crying. And I do not cry in front of people. It was kind of funny and irritating because I could hardly explain myself properly. But I think it was a sign that this was the right time.
The verdict is that I need to see a specialist about my anxiety, and I'm grateful that I was referred. So now I get to talk about it some more. Which can only be good for me! (I can tell, because I'm already dreading it!)
Do something that scares you every day!
Do I feel better? Well... not really that much - but I feel relieved that I am taking steps to find a way out of this anxiety hole that I've been buried in for so long.
And now that the burden is out of my hands and in the professionals', I'm going to try and think about something ELSE for a while. Like what I'm going to do with my life. Who I really am. Little things like that!
First things first - today is a strength training day, so back to my pushups! When my new memory card arrives, I'll take an arm progress picture... I'm getting some serious triceps and deltoids here :) I'm really quite proud, although I still would love to build even more muscle - I don't think that for me there will ever be too much muscle!