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    JOANNA202   34,601
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Aaand I'm back, and asking for help


Thursday, September 12, 2013

I return to SparkPeople tonight, cap in hand, asking the wonderful community that I know is out there for some help.

There's too much detail to go into tonight but over the last 24 hours I have realised that I need what can be found here (and today's weekly featured blog was just a lovely coincidence - Support: The Hidden Gem of SparkPeople). I need a space to let out my fears. I need people who are going to keep me on the right track. I need people who've been there and done it. And I need my friends - those I know and those I don't yet.

I'm writing today because I have lost my way a little bit. After being terrified of losing myself in my relationship, I took my eye off the ball and lost myself in my relationship. I need to find who I am again.

Don't get me wrong, I've kept up with fitness and eating well in moderation. And in fact I've recently quit my job to go freelance, in part so that I can spend more time on exercising (though I don't finish for another 6 weeks). I think that feeling generally healthy in my body has get my mind pretty stable over the last few months, but with my other half being depressed I've poured too much of myself into being there for him.

I'm 90% certain we can work through this, and all I can do for my part is focus on myself more and rediscover the person he fell for. Then I can only sit back and hope he'll fall for me all over again. It's damn scary, which is why I'm asking for support. I've asked advice from my 3 good friends in the real world, and I've been journalling in a paper diary when it's all got too much. These things all help but I hope to rebuild myself here, making notes on what it is that I want to do, what my goals are, finding who I am again and getting some much needed advice from you.

Please help me!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SCENTSITIV 10/8/2013 3:21PM

    There are always going to be challenges in life, especially emotional ones. Sometimes people get lost in the moments and put things aside until they are ready to reconnect. It's not that you lost your way, or gave up yourself to a relationship. You needed that time to come to understand your place with the relationship. Now you can focus on being there for yourself. Everybody has to face their demons and it sounds as though your other half is facing his right now. Give him the space to do that, while still remaining close by for support. There is always support and encouragement out there. You just need to ask for it, which you have done. Good on you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 9/12/2013 4:34PM

    Ask and ye shall receive. We are all here ready and willing to help!

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MJLUVSANIMALS 9/12/2013 4:01PM

    Use your tracker every day, stay commited to it. It's where I am today because of it, I haven't been close to my goal for almost 25 years. And give up the dreaded sugar ingredient. I tell everyone that. It is the biggest trigger ever. And the horrid stuff is in everything! I looked at what you had on your tracker, and you eat pretty good! Very healthy on the most part. And stay away from diet fads, books, and plans and pills to help you blah blah blah. Most all of these are just making money on foolish people like I used to be, no more of that. I use some of the knowledge that some instill and pluck it out, and add it to my own lifestyle journey. But never the gimmicks. Too much of eat this, not that. And the only thing the Dr. implied is "Don't eat anything white" meaning sugars and flours and such.

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DAWNDMOORE40 9/12/2013 3:48PM

    emoticon I think it's a good idea that you are keeping a journal, and the fact you decided to come back to Spark People, says a lot about your attitude and commitment to being healthy. Just hang in there and make small goals for yourself. The idea is remembering who you are as a person, and never given up on what God has created and that is you! I am always here for suggestions and just to listen! I have been on Spark People almost 3 years and I have learned so many fascinating things from different people and articles I have read! It is such a wonderful site! The best of wishes on achieving your goals! God bless you! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MJRVIC2000 9/12/2013 3:40PM

    Remember that there is a BIG difference between making a DECISION and making a COMMITMENT. God Bless YOU! Vic.

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