Thursday, September 12, 2013
I return to SparkPeople tonight, cap in hand, asking the wonderful community that I know is out there for some help.
There's too much detail to go into tonight but over the last 24 hours I have realised that I need what can be found here (and today's weekly featured blog was just a lovely coincidence - Support: The Hidden Gem of SparkPeople). I need a space to let out my fears. I need people who are going to keep me on the right track. I need people who've been there and done it. And I need my friends - those I know and those I don't yet.
I'm writing today because I have lost my way a little bit. After being terrified of losing myself in my relationship, I took my eye off the ball and lost myself in my relationship. I need to find who I am again.
Don't get me wrong, I've kept up with fitness and eating well in moderation. And in fact I've recently quit my job to go freelance, in part so that I can spend more time on exercising (though I don't finish for another 6 weeks). I think that feeling generally healthy in my body has get my mind pretty stable over the last few months, but with my other half being depressed I've poured too much of myself into being there for him.
I'm 90% certain we can work through this, and all I can do for my part is focus on myself more and rediscover the person he fell for. Then I can only sit back and hope he'll fall for me all over again. It's damn scary, which is why I'm asking for support. I've asked advice from my 3 good friends in the real world, and I've been journalling in a paper diary when it's all got too much. These things all help but I hope to rebuild myself here, making notes on what it is that I want to do, what my goals are, finding who I am again and getting some much needed advice from you.
Please help me!