Thursday, September 12, 2013
Thank you guys for your support on my job blog, it means a lot to me. Youíre right Ė a job really does affect your entire life whether you want it to or not.
You know how when youíre dissatisfied with something, you have to fix it or it wonít get better? That is me right now in like ALL aspects of my life.
Except for one Ė my bed. The new one came yesterday! I think last night was one of the best nights of sleep I have had in a while. Sometime in the middle of the night, I felt my shoulder and back muscles relax. I only wish that I had it delivered on a Friday so I could have slept in longer today. Sigh! I knew my lack of sleep was a problem so hopefully this will help!
Something is up with my health. Iíve been feeling off for a few weeks now, I know I mentioned on here about my hair loss, my stomach has been wonky too. I have been feeling growing anxiety, even in the middle of the night. Iíve been sort of space cadet, sometimes lightheaded. Iíve noticed my muscles are achy even though Iím not strength training per se. Like this morning, my arms were aching coming into work and I wasnít carrying much. I may also be coming down with something because my throat has felt like its being cut by knives the past two mornings when I wake up. I had two migraines in the past week. RAINA suggested trying some allergy meds and someone at work mentioned it to me today too. I think that is my next plan of action Ė get some allergy meds and give it two more weeks (unless it gets drastically worse) and then go see a doc. I canít just suffer not feeling well. Something has to change.
I havenít done anything for exercise this week besides my walk on Monday and some stair climbing yesterday. Tuesday my migraine tried to take me down hard. Yesterday my stomach was off all day so I didnít even eat much.
Iím typing all of this and realizing that Iím sure stress isnít helping me. I need to reduce stress. I am going back on the job hunt and working on how I absorb my office life.
Iíve also just been feeling super bloated and blah. I bought a size 16 jeans at Target yesterday and took a moment to think about that and wanted to cry. Sure it is probably a juniorís size 16, but still. I feel like a blimp and I must look like one too.
SoÖ if you donít like how you look and feel, gotta change something right?
I have my bags packed today Ė gym and lunch. Chobani, cheese, carrots, lettuce wrapped sandwich, apple, seaweed snax.
I feel like those are the right things, but I wonder. I have been doing those ďright thingsĒ for a while and Iím still blah. I would REALLY like to see the scale go down. I would like to be where I was a year ago right before the physical therapy, meds for depression and all started. Maybe I need to switch things up a bit, but I'm having a hard time deciding HOW or WHAT to do.
BUT!!!!!! I just canít blog about it and whine about it on here. I have to do something tooÖ I know Iím unhappy and I donít want to be this way anymore. Ready, set, action!