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Thursday, September 12, 2013

Thank you guys for your support on my job blog, it means a lot to me. You’re right – a job really does affect your entire life whether you want it to or not.

You know how when you’re dissatisfied with something, you have to fix it or it won’t get better? That is me right now in like ALL aspects of my life.

Except for one – my bed. The new one came yesterday! I think last night was one of the best nights of sleep I have had in a while. Sometime in the middle of the night, I felt my shoulder and back muscles relax. I only wish that I had it delivered on a Friday so I could have slept in longer today. Sigh! I knew my lack of sleep was a problem so hopefully this will help!

Something is up with my health. I’ve been feeling off for a few weeks now, I know I mentioned on here about my hair loss, my stomach has been wonky too. I have been feeling growing anxiety, even in the middle of the night. I’ve been sort of space cadet, sometimes lightheaded. I’ve noticed my muscles are achy even though I’m not strength training per se. Like this morning, my arms were aching coming into work and I wasn’t carrying much. I may also be coming down with something because my throat has felt like its being cut by knives the past two mornings when I wake up. I had two migraines in the past week. RAINA suggested trying some allergy meds and someone at work mentioned it to me today too. I think that is my next plan of action – get some allergy meds and give it two more weeks (unless it gets drastically worse) and then go see a doc. I can’t just suffer not feeling well. Something has to change.

I haven’t done anything for exercise this week besides my walk on Monday and some stair climbing yesterday. Tuesday my migraine tried to take me down hard. Yesterday my stomach was off all day so I didn’t even eat much.

I’m typing all of this and realizing that I’m sure stress isn’t helping me. I need to reduce stress. I am going back on the job hunt and working on how I absorb my office life.

I’ve also just been feeling super bloated and blah. I bought a size 16 jeans at Target yesterday and took a moment to think about that and wanted to cry. Sure it is probably a junior’s size 16, but still. I feel like a blimp and I must look like one too.

So… if you don’t like how you look and feel, gotta change something right?

I have my bags packed today – gym and lunch. Chobani, cheese, carrots, lettuce wrapped sandwich, apple, seaweed snax.

I feel like those are the right things, but I wonder. I have been doing those “right things” for a while and I’m still blah. I would REALLY like to see the scale go down. I would like to be where I was a year ago right before the physical therapy, meds for depression and all started. Maybe I need to switch things up a bit, but I'm having a hard time deciding HOW or WHAT to do.

BUT!!!!!! I just can’t blog about it and whine about it on here. I have to do something too… I know I’m unhappy and I don’t want to be this way anymore. Ready, set, action!
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  • RAINA413
    First thing is to recognize that there is something is up. Then you are already ahead of the game because you can now figure out how to tackle that. It sounds like your hair loss, wonky stomach, migraines and anxiety are all stress related which can actually make you sick...that might explain the lightheadedness, sore throat, and aching muscles. It will lower your immunity. Not to mention the high pollen counts which also probably make you feel crummy as well. Perhaps if you try something for allergies, but also do some deep breathing exercises as well as just walking...don't push yourself too much if you feel crummy, but don't underestimate the health benefits of a good walk. It will also help to clear your head and allow you to work through some issues you may be dealing with.

    However, I think that the sooner you sit down with your boss and try to work through some of the workplace issues you have been having the better off you will be. Even if things don't change immediately, being proactive will go a long way to relieving this weight that has been just sitting on your shoulders for so long.
    1622 days ago
    Getting on the right track is hard, very hard, but I am sure that you will figure it all out. Stress definitely takes its toll on your health. I was super stressed last fall and started having panic attacks where I felt like I couldn't breath, but all the tests showed that I was getting plenty of air. Needless to say, working to get stress out of your life is probably the key to a lot of your health issues. Hang in there! I know you will get it all worked out. emoticon
    1623 days ago
    You are super duper amazing and I know that you will find that perfect stride again. I really hope you aren't too sick, and that you get better fast if you are!
    1623 days ago
    Hang in there!!!
    1623 days ago
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