Thursday, September 12, 2013
This summer holidays was not really a "summerholidays" for me; but i will blog another time for that.
Duriing that period and on August 9th my girlfriend's Vicki's brother died. He was a nice man full of life of 49,doctor with two young girls and a beautiful wife and what seems to be a "good life" ahead.
As far as we all knew he was not ill ,out f the blue his color seemed not very well (yellow) he entered a hospital for checking it and in the hospital he was infected with resistant staphylococcus and in a few days he died.
I had not been talking and communicating with my friend V. except of two short phone calls on the occasion of birthday or name day wishes.
This made it extremely difficult for me to go now and see her for...consolation(?)
With a lot of hesitation and guilt i fixed a coffee meeting to which i went as if was going to the guillotine.
To my compete and absolute surprise this meeting was so GOOD!
Such good and valuable things were said and lived..
Feelings of all kinds made us stay ther for a good 4hours . Tears and laughters there was not very much to introduce everything was already known. I had been in her family thousand times she has been in mine all the same..
She was afterall my very close friend for a great 15 years in our critical 25-40 period sharing lovestories , chidbirths and serious illnesses .
Someway dissapointment, laziness, boredom and ......(?) made us distant.
But you cannot ever break a relationship that has been part of your HISTORY..
In so many moments i recall she is there; with her photogenic smile helping me to serve my guests, dancing, flirting staying late at night sometimes satying awake all night , helpig me pack for going away , introducing me with her lover or fiancee , leaving me her baby son for a moment and he had his first walk with me...(he!he!) coming to visit with her baby daughter and she had her first walk onto my lap..(he!he!)
That is why i so little believe in breaking.
It takes just a good minute and everything burst into you nostalgically and feels like "at home".
Even though you say to yourself that you have overestimated, mismeasured,you can very well live without him/her, all this psychic investment is really unbreakable.
We are so very different with Vicki but she was always adding this new clever touch to my thought that i needed so much, she was seen and showing things to me from a completely new angle.
I am not good at naming what i was adding to her accurate reasoning or immaginative trips but undoubtely there was something there.
Long lasting realationships like chronic illnesses only sleep inside us do not disapear.
Noboy can make me laugh so loudly or cry so deeply as someone with whom i have a past full of laughters and cries .
This person is a witness of your very life story, for heaven sake!
I am positive now that the fragility of friendships is made of iron.
And that is one very good thing..