Wednesday, September 11, 2013
I didn't end up doing much of anything today. Took my cat to the vet, slept and watched a video. And ate things I know I should not have. I don't think I went over my calories for the day but nothing I ate today was healthy for me except for my medicines and my multiple vitamin.
I did a sad depressed day and really wasn't that sad or depressed. why do I do that to myself?
I have so much to do and want to do. Let alone what needs to be done and I sleep instead of making myself happy by accomplishing something with my stuff or spending time with people I love.
This is nothing new. Now I am crying.
I redid this day- like I have done so many others. Not sure why I let myself do this to me. I know I am better than that. Than this.
I mess up my schedule. I get mad at myself for not doing anything constructive. And don't feel good the next day because of the food I ate.
I KNOW the only way I am going to get better is to eat right, sleep and exercise properly and loose some weight.
I know that loosing weight won't make me happy. I KNOW THIS.
Even read something today about that on spark people. Most of the time I like me, I am happy and wouldn't want to be anyone else. I don't ever want to be anyone else. I just want to be a better me. the best me I can be. I know it is way more than I am doing now.
Loosing weight will make me a healthier person. And lets face it. NOTHING is more important than being healthy. You can't help the people you love if you are not as healthy and as positive as you can be.
9/11 has been a date that changed a lot for people all over the world.Maybe I can make this day the day for change for me. I don't like doing what I do on days like today. I am the only one that can change that.
I have better at not picking sleep over friends and family. Now I need to not pick sleep over making me happy every day.