Wednesday, September 11, 2013
This is what I feel like too. After attending the marathon labor of my daughter (something like 52 hours all told) on Monday, September 2nd, I came home the following day. Then we drove back to Louisville from outside Indy on Friday so my husband could get a chance to hold the baby. And of course I got to hold her again too. She was sleeping so I took advantage and held her for about 2 hours. I expected a sore arm or maybe a sore neck. When we left there we went out to a favorite German restaurant of ours to celebrate my upcoming birthday. When I got out of the car I couldn't put any weight on my left foot for a few steps. The next day I got increasingly stiff and my left hip has excruciating pain in my hip and going down my leg every time I move. That was Friday and now this is Wednesday and I'm no better. It's so hard to keep positive when you have to live in a body like this. I read the Sparkpeople articles now and laugh to myself. Squatting, lunging, running? I can't even walk some days and right now I can't even stand up straight. This whole episode has made it very clear to me though that it is imperative that I get this weight off. Not for appearances or even for health risks like blood pressure etc though that is important too of course. I have to get this weight off simply because as my muscles deteriorate further I just can't carry around all this excess baggage. I need to be as slim and trim as I can be and maybe then it will be easier for me to tone up what muscles I have left. I always seem to be whining when I write on my blog but I write what I feel and I guess I do feel like a crybaby most days. The good news is that I've lost 8.4 pounds in the 4 weeks that I've been back. Even having all the stress of the arrival of the first grandchild and a major flare. 60 more pounds to goal but I feel like maybe I can do it this time. When you're this miserable it gives you lots of incentive. If you've managed to make it through this major whine fest you are a true Sparkfriend.
Hopefully I will have more positive days ahead.