Tuesday, September 10, 2013
I have been feeling so EMPOWERED lately about my ability to stay on the SparkDiet. A couple of good weeks staying on track both calorie and exercise-wise had me feeling pretty confident. The scale was moving in the right direction. I was regularly tracking my food. It was all going to be smooth sailing this time, right?
Today I reminded myself of those alcoholics and drug addicts profiled on the TV show "Intervention" who go through rehabilitation only to fall back into their old deadly habits. I am addicted to food, and today was my Perfect Storm.
1) I have not slept well in several months, especially in the past week. I was TIRED.
2) It was the first day I have worked this school year, so my normal routine was broken. I woke up 3 hours earlier than usual and had to eat at a set time as opposed to when I was hungry.
3) The sub job I had was boring. I basically sat next to a student all day and tried to keep him awake and focused.
4) The food was free.
5) The aroma of melting chocolate pervaded the cafeteria (where I needed to stay to watch the student during lunch).
6) I did not have interesting food in my lunch because I need to get groceries.
7) It was too hot to go for my walk, another disruption to my normal routine.
It started with a large chocolate chip cookie, warm and fresh from the high school cafeteria. I thought I could just replace it for the 16 Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate Chips I had previously planned, even though in my heart I knew the cookie had many more calories.The demon Addiction is a master manipulator! Still reeling from guilt, I walked into the teacher's lounge, where there were leftover pieces of free pizza. I ate two, in addition to the lunch I packed. Disgusted with myself, I pulled over at Dairy Queen and got a Blizzard on the way home. I don't even remember tasting it, because I was so upset at myself for getting it.
So once again I have proven that I am not perfect! This is something I have wrestled with my whole life. Time to dust myself off and get back on track. And forgive myself.