Tuesday, September 10, 2013
I am so frustrated tonight. This past week and a half has been frustrating. Not all of the time, yet more so than not. Mom is still in the hospital, going to a tiny room or half of a room in a nursing home Thursday. A tiny half of a room. She is still paranoid at times, forgetful and nervous.
I feel like my hands are tied and I am helpless. I want so much for Mom to have a great or at least a good place to live the rest of her days. Not a small half room. I feel as if I am letting her down. I know she has to move to a home, but this is not one she wanted to go to. Until today. Last night at the hospital was so upsetting that she will go anywhere now. I went over to this home with my friend and looked and left and just started to cry.
To top it all off, or rather to add to the mix, my leg. It is not good. I a, supposed to be on bed/chair rest for a week. Now to be honest I have told the MD and nurse that I had a mother in this situation. So today I spent too much time up on my feet and tomorrow I am home all day. Thursday at it again. So I am feeling upset and frustrated.
To add to the mess, however, is a very good friend who has been there for me through all of this even today, after she had a fall yesterday and was sore and tender today. We went for a nice lunch and ate with my cousin. Then off to see Mom. She makes this mess not a mess, she understands. However, right now she is dealing with her Mom and Dad who live in Scotland. Her Mom has Alzheimer's and dad with Parkinson's. Dad is in hospital and Mom at home. She deals so well, is so strong and copes. Long distance!! She just amazes me constantly!! I feel this is difficult with Mom just over and hour away. She is a flight and more away and deals with it all daily and often more than once a day. God Bless her for being so precious!!
So here I sit and try and relax and sort all of this out. I am not hungry as much so that is good, but otherwise....I am frustrated. Sorry to dump but I needed to get it out.