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    SHERYLDS   39,606
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Listening versus Tuning Out

Tuesday, September 10, 2013



We all get a little defensive when we feel we have been attacked
and if someone attacks you enough times...
you become suspect of Everything they say...even if it's something nice.

Someone used to do that to me all the time.
One day, I got a phone call and got tired of listening...
I pulled the receiver away from my ear...
far enough to hear noise, but close enough to say 'uh huh' every so often.
Best conversation we ever had.

As I got older and wiser...I've learned to consider the source.
If the source is consistently toxic....I totally tune out.
But
Sometimes dialogue starts with misunderstanding and miscommunication.
It may take a few tries until either side starts listening...
and then sometimes some meaningful exchange of ideas does happen...
and viola .... ya learn something.

Having an open mind isn't always easy...a lot of times it takes hard work.
And then ... the conversation takes on a whole new meaning.

just sayin..... emoticon

thanks for stopping by.....stay cool emoticon emoticon emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 3/23/2014 6:42AM

    I just did a search on speakpeople for "reflective listening." You are so smart!!! This is a very powerful blog.

chris

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ARTJAC 9/12/2013 5:56AM

    emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 9/11/2013 3:27PM

  Hi Sheryl.........
One of the things I like most about getting older is that I seem to have given myself permission to just totally reject toxic people. I used to try to be patient and give them a second or third chance; but, not anymore. There are too many people who I would rather spend my time with who are totally worth the effort.
emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 9/11/2013 1:01PM

    I completely tune out toxic people and/or toxic conversations/monologues.

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JSPIN74 9/11/2013 10:09AM

    emoticon

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FUNLOVEN 9/11/2013 9:17AM

    I know exactly what you mean. I could think of several examples, but won't take up the blog page with them right now. It usually takes time to figure out a person is not really interested in me, but once I do figure it out the conversation does get a whole lot easier like you said. And I end up a whole lot happier emoticon

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JOANNS4 9/11/2013 9:10AM

    emoticon well said!

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APPLEPIEAPPLE 9/11/2013 8:31AM

    Being a diplomat probably requires a bit of tuning out and some avoidance of toxic people. But for good mental health controlling how much you are around toxic people is vidal. I actually have used the phone tactic on occasion. Mostly when the person just needed to vent--not an opinion. Good people can be toxic if they are so negative themselves that they spew bad vibes. I wonder if my optimism makes me toxic to them??? emoticon

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KANOE10 9/11/2013 7:22AM

    Great idea of pulling away from the receiver..you do need to tune out toxicity. Yet like you say, sometimes you need to listen and can make a breakthrough.

emoticon

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LEANMEAN2 9/11/2013 6:50AM

    Well said. Thanks for sharing.

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TERMITEMOM 9/11/2013 6:47AM

    Smart to do it! Good for you because it shows your self-control.

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NEW-CAZ 9/11/2013 2:25AM

    Well said! emoticon

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IMREITE 9/11/2013 1:02AM

    i am good at ignoring things that bother me. but i have been working on trying to listen caredully so i can do all the work that i need to do.

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GABIBEAR 9/10/2013 10:59PM

    Very true Sheryl. I tune people out sometimes when I know toxic information is being spewed, but better yet, whenever possible, I stay away from toxic people! That way I stay happy!!! emoticon

Have a fabulous Wednesday!!

Gabi
emoticon emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 9/10/2013 9:45PM

    Wonderful, and I love that pic!

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CHACHAOREO 9/10/2013 9:17PM

    emoticon

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EDWARDS1411 9/10/2013 8:43PM

    emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 9/10/2013 8:30PM

    Er, what was that second thing?

Seriously, I think we all tune out when we just don't want to hear it, but can't leave.

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KMICHA 9/10/2013 8:11PM

    I hear you!

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PATTISTAMPS 9/10/2013 7:46PM

    I am listening... emoticon

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KARRENLYNN 9/10/2013 6:11PM

    Well said!

Karen

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GINA180847 9/10/2013 6:03PM

    Morticia cracked me up so that is how I remain.......CRACKED!

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REGILIEH 9/10/2013 5:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MICKEYH 9/10/2013 5:53PM

    I hear you and I know what you means. emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYM48 9/10/2013 5:53PM

    Good food for thought!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/10/2013 5:42PM

    I love being attacked. It's about the only attention I get. LOL.

Most of my telephone calls are robocalls. I try to converse with them but they don't respond. Go figure. I had no idea you could argue with a real person on the phone other than say with At&T or Hughesnet and you have to pay for that. They don't speak English so you can say things like, "Why don't you kiss my big butt!" And they will read the next line in their prepared script which is usually, "Meez Morteesha, Are ju calleenk from de phon dat ju r havink probelems with? Jes?"

I'm jealous that you are talking to humans. I may have to insist that you call me so we can argue.

My mind is open and pretty much empty. You can fill it with whatever you want. Strawberry lemonade would be good as long as there is no added sugar.

I'm totally brain dead today so don't expect me to make any sense. emoticon

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ADRIENALINE 9/10/2013 5:41PM

    Excellent advice!

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1CRAZYDOG 9/10/2013 5:38PM

    DEFINITELY had "talk to the hand because the face ain't listening" moments in my life too! YOu have very wise advice. Thanks!

HUGS

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IAMAGEMLOVER 9/10/2013 5:29PM

    good advice.

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DALID414 9/10/2013 5:28PM

    OMG! Pulling away from the reciever: ALL of my phone calls go that way! I hate being on the phone!!

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MEADSBAY 9/10/2013 5:12PM

    I have learned over the years to ask for clarification in a reflective and non-threatening way when someone offends me in any way or I just think they are being an idiot.
emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 9/10/2013 4:58PM

    you are so right!!

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DONNABRIGHT 9/10/2013 4:44PM

    I do sometimes find myself saying things that are not what I meant to say and an immediate clarification is in order!

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GOLFGMA 9/10/2013 4:33PM

    You are right and sometimes we say things that we think were compliments but were taken in another way entirely. We really have to watch what we say and how we say it. What a hard life sometimes!

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WORLDSERIES11 9/10/2013 4:31PM

    emoticon

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CAROL494 9/10/2013 4:29PM

  emoticon

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