Regaining control and moving forward.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
So what a difference a week makes. Feeling somewhat better than I was a little less than a week ago and feeling worse in some ways. Emotionally speaking after last Wednesday I am feeling in a more stable place. It took till the weekend to get there, but I think I did finally. The world goes on right?
So now I seem to have gotten an ear infection which means my camping and diving trip this weekend has been turned into a camping only trip. So, I will take my bike and explore the town and surrounding area of New Paris, OH by bicycle instead. Assuming the ear infection clears up. I still may try to dive on Sunday before we head home just since it will be the last of the year most likely. So it is a little disappointing, but I will survive.
Now, I need to get myself re-focused. I have lost my single minded determination to lose weight. I have fallen out of the habit of working out and my diet shows that as well. I am fast reverting to my old habits and bad eating. I need to put a stop to that ASAP and get back on track. I keep making excuses and allowances for eating this or not working out. Even 1 month ago this would not have happened. I am sliding backwards and now need to find the mental toughness that served me so well the first 6 months of the year.
I know it is in there. I know I will find it again. I have just let too many other things become a distraction. Mentally I need to be ruthless again. I need to start shoving aside the distractions and being selfish again. It is selfish more for my time than anything.
But the knee is feeling better. The ear feels somewhat better today and I am sure it will feel even better tomorrow. I think I have tossed to the curb my negative emotions and anger over the friend’s betrayal from last week and pretty much now feel nothing about it. I let myself get angry. I let the emotions run but I also let them control me this week. That’s on me though. I have realized more though how the negative emotions got control. I am not saying I am totally past it, but I also need to regain control over my life. The bottom line is the negative emotions will happen in life and I need to figure out the best way to deal with it rather than the destructive behaviors. So, hopefully this will be a learning experience and I will get this straightened out.
Thanks for the advice and support people, as always, you are a great group of friends to have.