Monday, September 09, 2013
I haven't made a blog post in over a week! Wow.
Well, things are in a weird flux for me. Since school is now in swing for both my daughter and I, my exercise schedule has gone very irregular. Fortunately, I've still been able to swing about 3 sessions at the Y a week, and then I've tried to supplement at home, either by running outside or doing a exercise vid. This has met with varying levels of success. Diet has been good. I have been tracking less and eating intuitively several times a week at dinner time. I Again, things have been ok with that. I'm still losing at a rate of about 8 pounds a month.
I still haven't exited that nervous window of worry that I will regress now that I am no longer exercising as frequently or as consistently. I hit ONEderland this week, though, and I didn't think that would ever come! I am now a couple of pounds away from my "halfway point" and another 10 away from "overweight" BMI. Woohoo!
My current observations about this stage in my process:
1) I think I am fitting into smaller clothes than the last time I was at this weight. There are some items from my closet that fit just fine but I don't recall being able to fit into them before I was at 190 or below. I attribute this solely to strength training! Good stuff!
2) I've realized that I may be having a bit of body dysmorphic syndrome that I am trying to be aware of and am trying to "get real". When I look in the mirror it doesn't seem that I've lost a bit of weight and I am as fat as I ever was! It doesn't make sense. I see my workout clothes getting looser and looser. I FEEL better. But when I look in the mirror I see that same body that I saw in the beginning. The other day, when I was running on the track at the Y, I accidentally caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window and I was HORRIFIED. My belly is still huge. My calves are still huge. I haven't changed a bit, despite how I feel. Intellectually, I can reason with myself and tell myself that my perception is skewed. That said, I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a surge of deflated pride, demoralization and depression when I look at myself. Ugh. I know this is a mental/emotional hurdle I need to work on.
3) Lastly, my running is/was going well but I have been nursing a shin splint in my left leg for a month now with no change and it may be getting worse. Part of me is so driven to succeed that I am not slacking off enough to let it heal. Tonight I told myself that I would rest from running and only do Zumba. I had to quit halfway through the class because the muscles were pulling too much. This has never happened! I simply could not keep up! I'm afraid that I may have to scale back for a few weeks to take care of this thing and do some exercises for it. Because of this, I will likely regress a bit and have to work my way up to where I am currently at with this. I am currently at 2 miles straight without breaking for a walking interval. On my "hard" days I will run a mile, do strength training, and then run two miles. I know that doesn't seem like a whole lot to experienced runners but it's amazing for me, and part of why I've been pushing for longer. I hate the fact that I may have to work my way up again if I rest for too long but I may do more harm if I don't. It's a Catch 22. If anyone has any advice about how to handle this, I would certainly appreciate it!
Hope everyone is having a good week so far!