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    RUNAGAINST   4,097
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Feeling so Demoralized


Monday, September 09, 2013

So today sucked. There's really no way around it.

I was supposed to go to the doctor, bright and early this morning, to deal with some medical hurdles in my journey to lose weight. I was also really hoping my Dr would have some suggestions on where to get myself weighed (I'm a wheelchair user, so I can't use a regular scale).

However, when I got there, the elevator was broken, and I could not go to my appointment. This is the second time this has happened (I've only been there 4 times total...). He came down and spoke to me in the stairwell, but I wasn't comfortable discussing everything there, so I had to leave with nothing resolved.

I couldn't feel more crappy about this. I was hoping to come out of this day feeling a little more confident in my direction. A few steps closer to really being sure this was going to work. Instead, I came out feeling aimless and tired.

I'm going back on Friday (hopefully) and maybe then things will get resolved. But it's just frustrating. I was kind of really hoping he'd especially be able to point me in the direction of a wheelchair scale, so I could have some sense of where I'm starting from, and some way to keep monthly tabs on my progress (yes, I know I can measure myself, go by my clothes, but those ways just don't work for me by themselves.). Really, 250lbs is a bit of a guess for my starting weight. There is a good chance I weigh a bit more, and if so, I'd like to readjust my expectations, knowing it will take a little more than 2 years to reach my goal. I also wanted to know if 125 is realistic for me, medically. If it's not, I can learn to live with another goal.

Instead, here I am, no wiser about my path than when I left for work this morning. Sigh.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
RUNAGAINST 9/9/2013 8:59PM

  Thanks so much guys.
SparkLise- I'm really proud, I didn't over eat today (I went a little under, but it's almost time for bed...) and I made my lunch for tomorrow. If I have to, for a few months, I think I can just keep making the right choices, and wait to find some way to see the results...

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SPARKLISE 9/9/2013 8:53PM

    So sorry that you had such a bad day!

Just do what you can for now and you'll put more specific goals when you are able!
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LETHA_ 9/9/2013 8:36PM

    I can understand your frustration. But starting from where you are, look at the available options and pick the one most likely to help you reach your goals. No, it's not perfect. Yes, it's a struggle. Just get up every day determined to do absolutely everything in your power to move toward your goals. There are lots of people here on Sparkpeople who are also fighting to make the best life possible.
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